Marge: Ice skating, a sport that encourages hand holding.
Homer: Would you like to wear mittens or go commando?

Lenny: Date night, it's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a marriage fresh after the heart and brain have been pulled out through the nose.
Carl: I never should have given you that Egyptology book.

These cookies are on the up and up according to the only hoest newspaper, The Beijing Worker.


When I grow up, you can buy an apartment building and make me a super.


Something you lost will soon turn up. My faith in the Lord! It came back!


If I was interested in fun, I would have ran the day you were born.

Homer [to Bart]

Homer: What should I buy first, a mirror that gives me advice or Hitler's baseball?
Mirror: My advice is to buy Hitler's baseball.

Let him go Lou, someone going that fast has no time for a ticket.

Chief Wiggum

Any part of a cookie you can't eat is a waste of time.

Homer [about fortune cookies]

Wait, I'm shooting at nazis? That's not how I remember it.

Mr. Burns

Bart: Who the hell says pota-toe?
Homer: Song writers who are stuck for lyrics.

Friends, loved ones, we are gathered here to marry a Jew and a ... congregationalist... is that even a thing? Now, let's continue with this mockery.


The Simpsons Season 21 Quotes

Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable!
Homer: Great, would you like to see me naked?
Studio Exec: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie
Homer: What movie?

I played hardball with hollywood, the closest i will ever come to playing a sport in my life

Comic Book Guy