The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 22 Quotes
Marge: This isn't a line for a movie, why are you dressed in that costume?
Comic Book Guy: Because I am afraid of needles, but Wolverine is not.
Please use your time in line wisely to Sophie's Choice your child.
Mayor Quimby
I'll have 37 snifters of your influenza syrup. One for me, one for Smithers, and the rest for my hounds.
Mr. Burns
That school is so great. Teachers teach so much better when they're paid in money and not chickens.
Lisa
Bart: You punch really good
Nelson: You think?
Bart: Oh yeah and you always avoid the face around picture day. People really appreciate that.
Nelson: Hey, those memories are forever.
Bart: You really care man. A lot of bullies just phone it in. *cough* Kearney *cough*
Lisa: I'll study so hard I'll make the old me look like Bart.
Homer: That'd be one weird looking kid.
Lord Buddha, I know I'm not supposed to want stuff, but come on!
Lisa
Bart: What's your note say?
Lisa: The seven of clubs?
Homer: Tada!
Principal Skinner: You yell at me for everything.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well I cant yell at anyone else. Teachers have unions. Students have parents.
Principal Skinner: What about Willie?
Superintendent Chalmers: I like Willie.
Lisa, one of the hardest jobs I have is throwing cold water on young children's dreams. Ralph, you're not a kangaroo.
Principal Skinner
Buying trophies from those cash-strapped schools really filled out the case.
Principal Skinner
Lisa: Someday when I'm a grownup, maybe I'll go back and look fondly at our house.
Bart: Well stop in and say hi to me because I'll still be there chilling in my basement bachelor pad.
Homer: Make sure to water my backyard grave.
Bart: As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween.
Homer: Just don't dress me up as a woman.
Bart: We'll see.
