Marguerite, I leave to fight in Flanders. Stupid Flanders.


Grampa: And I created an alcoholic hippo.
Homer: You never showed it to me!
Grampa: A stupid alcoholic hippo!

Mapple Salesperson: The lightest, most desirable computer in the world, for the next three weeks - the Mapple Void.
Homer: I'll take it, provided you charge me for services that Google offers for free.

I have a thousand friends! And only eight of them are Milhouse!


Man, this website makes talking drunk to my wife so much safer.


Uh-oh. Denise Hibbert keeps liking Bumblebee Man's posts. That's how it starts.


When a guy who loves america cries, it makes him super straight.


The hot dogs spin counter clockwise in fear when you arrive.


They know I'm doing a character. Like Stephen Colbert or Newt Gingrich.


Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"

I've been acting like a 10 year old the last 30 years, but I swear i'm going to grow up and act 20 like a divorced 40 year old should.


Bloody harry. he brought back beheading in a big way.

My daughter thinks I'm a ruthless tyrant like Hitler or Prince Harry. Homer

The Simpsons Season 23 Quotes

What brought you to Springfield, was it our Frito Lay distribution center?


I guess it's not much when you look at real problems in the world like Major League umpires not using instant replay.