What makes a man endanger his job, and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?

Mr. Burns

• Permalink: What makes a man endanger his job, and, yes, even his life, by a...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Bart, I need some lucky numbers, fast, how old are you? Uh huh, and what's your birthday?...No kidding, and what's Lisa's birthday? What, you don't know your sister's birthday, what kind of brother are you?

Homer

• Permalink: Bart, I need some lucky numbers, fast, how old are you? Uh huh, ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Well neighbor, I see you've got your running shoes on, that's a good thing!....Smithers, release the hounds.
(Flanders runs and screams like a litle girl)

Burns

• Permalink: Well neighbor, I see you've got your running shoes on, that's a ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Marge: Even if he has passed on, there's no reason to cry. Remember Doggie Heaven?
Homer: Oh, Marge, there is no such place!
Marge: (Clears throat, indicating Bart and Lisa)
Homer: Or, to put it another way, there is.

• Permalink: Even if he has passed on, there's no reason to cry. Remember Dog...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Bart: Oh, it's all my fault! I called him a dumb dog!
Homer: Oh, he's gone and he's never coming back...wait, there he is!...no, that's a horse.

• Permalink: Oh, it's all my fault! I called him a dumb dog! Oh, he's gone ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

(Answers phone) Uh, no you've got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.

Wiggum

• Permalink: Uh, no you've got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.
• Added: February 18, 2010

Barney: You know, I heard the jackpot is up to one hundred and thirty million dollars.
Homer: PFF!...ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!!
Barney: Did you say one hundred and thirty million dollars?
Homer: Yeah!
Barney: Wow!

• Permalink: You know, I heard the jackpot is up to one hundred and thirty mi...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Homer: Marge, I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of travelling acrobats!
Marge: I don't think you've thought this through...

• Permalink: Marge, I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Bas...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Marge: Homie, did you close the gate?
Homer: Yes. (Gate thumps loudly) Oh, you mean tonight.

• Permalink: Homie, did you close the gate? Yes. Oh, you mean tonight.
• Added: February 18, 2010

Kent Brockman: But there's already one big winner...Our state school system, which gets fully half the profits from the library.
Skinner: Just think what we can buy with that money...History books that know how the Korean War came out. Math books that don't have that base six crap in them! And a state-of-the-art detention hall, where children are held in place by magnets.

• Permalink: But there's already one big winner...Our state school system, wh...
• Added: February 18, 2010

The state lottery, where everybody wins! (quickly) Actual odds of winning one in three hundred and eighty million.

Announcer

• Permalink: The state lottery, where everybody wins! Actual odds of winning...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Homer: (on Kent Brockman) Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: (Thinks for a moment) A dinosaur!

• Permalink: Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing...
• Added: February 18, 2010