The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Quotes
Homer: Goodbye son!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away!
Bart: Maybe it's for the best.
Nelson: Hey, Simpson, where's your loser-mobile!
Homer: Loser mobilehehehewait a minute!
Bart: Uh, It's over there Nelson.
Nelson: Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap!
Homer: What's the quickest, cheapest, easiest way to do something with you?
Lisa: Uh, take us to the video store?
Homer: Anything for my little girl.
Thank you, Bill Cosby. You've saved The Simpsons!
Homer
Oh, I don't know if I should do that. My dad and I build our car together, and if I drove somebody else's it'd kill him! On the other hand, I'll do it!
Bart
Martin: What is the matter with you?
Bart: It's my dad. Lying there on the couch, drinking a beer, staring at the TV... I've never seen him like that.
Dad, I don't know how to say this. I don't want to drive your car. It's slow, it's ugly; it handles like a shopping cart.
Bart
Homer: Hurry, Moe, hurry! I've only got five minutes till the music store closes!
Moe: Well, why don't you go there first?
Homer: Hey, do I tell you how to do your job?!
Jerry: Clarinet?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Oboe?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Saxophone?
Homer: No. Wait a minute, what was that last one again?
Jerry: Saxophone.
Homer: (Recalling) Lisa, stop playing that stupid...saxophone! Yes, that's it!
Jerry: Alto or tenor?
Homer: D'oh!
Mr. Burns: Are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?
Homer: (Unsure) U...sury?
Mr. Burns: Silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist.
Maybe I should just cut my losses, give up on Lisa, and make a fresh start with Maggie.
Homer
Homer: I'll buy her that pony she's always bugging me for.
Marge: We can't afford to buy a pony.
Homer: Marge, with today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to buy a pony.
