Quotables for Week Ending Friday, November 11, 2016

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There was hardly any TV on Tuesday night, but that didn't have an impact on the number of quotes we have this week!

There are a lot of good ones, too, so take your time and enjoy the ride.

1. Lethal Weapon

Yes hes crazy lethal weapon season 1 episode 6

How small does your penis need to be to buy one of these cars?

Murtuagh
How small does your penis need to be to buy one of these cars?

2. The Blacklist

Time for a group meeting the blacklist season 4 episode 8

Yes, is that what you want me to say? Yes, Elizabeth is my daughter.

Red
Yes, is that what you want me to say? Yes, Elizabeth is my daughter.

3. The Walking Dead

A new group appears the walking dead

You got your friend killed. I got Tina killed. Don’t pretend you don’t know the score. You should be dead, but Negan’s taken a shine to you. You’re lucky. Don’t forget.

Dwight
You got your friend killed. I got Tina killed. Don’t pretend you don’t know the score. You should be dead, but Negan’s taken a shine to...

4. Shameless

Enjoying his latest scam shameless

Debbie: Neil?
Neil: What? I was going to say something nice. You have a great ass, it makes up for your small tits.
Fiona: Thanks!

Debbie: Neil? Neil: What? I was going to say something nice. You have a great ass, it makes up for your small tits. Fiona: Thanks!

5. Westworld

Chamred westworld

Felix: Everything you do, it's because the engineers upstairs programmed you to do it.
Maeve: Nobody tells me what do to, sweetheart.
Felix: Yeah, but it's part of your character. You're hard to get.

Felix: Everything you do, it's because the engineers upstairs programmed you to do it. Maeve: Nobody tells me what do to, sweetheart....

6. Once Upon a Time

Giving up their hearts once upon a time

Hook: Now, you're worried about your parents, and that's making this worse, but they're gonna alright. They'll find that magic little baby tree thing and defeat the Evil Queen.
Emma: They're gonna find that magic little tree thing.

Hook: Now, you're worried about your parents, and that's making this worse, but they're gonna alright. They'll find that magic little...

7. Quantico

Memories of simon quantico

Shelby: Is anyone keeping a weird schedule, sneaking off, doing their own thing?
Alex: You mean like us?

Shelby: Is anyone keeping a weird schedule, sneaking off, doing their own thing? Alex: You mean like us?

8. NCIS: Los Angeles

Callens a mental patient ncis los angeles

Kensi: I can't stand, I can't walk, I can't use my left hand. How much worse can it get?
Dr. Miller: Just look around you.

Kensi: I can't stand, I can't walk, I can't use my left hand. How much worse can it get? Dr. Miller: Just look around you.

9. Secrets and Lies

A startling discover secrets and lies

Patrick: You act like she doesn't exist.
Eric:I don't see how. She's so damn loud.

Patrick: You act like she doesn't exist. Eric:I don't see how. She's so damn loud.

10. Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Big moment for kim

I love that you’re never really hot or cold.

Jonathan Cheban
I love that you’re never really hot or cold.

11. Madam Secretary

A us french state dinner madam secretary

Daisy: Whew. Okay, so let's see. We busted a stalker, we rescued some priceless artifacts, took the fight to HS and saved Algeria, and we held together our most vital military alliance.
Matt: All without offending the French.

Daisy: Whew. Okay, so let's see. We busted a stalker, we rescued some priceless artifacts, took the fight to HS and saved Algeria, and we...

12. The Last Man on Earth

A new home the last man on earth

Carol Pilbasian: It scared the beetlejuice out of me and nobody say that again twice.
Tandy Miller: Beetlejuice?
Carol Pilbasian: Tandy! We have enough problems here without introducing a troublemaker from the spirit world.

Carol Pilbasian: It scared the beetlejuice out of me and nobody say that again twice. Tandy Miller: Beetlejuice? Carol Pilbasian: Tandy!...

13. Gotham

Losing it gotham season 3 episode 8

Something's gotten into me. When I see a scumbag like you, my blood starts boiling in my veins, and I just want to punish you. Make you suffer.

Barnes
Something's gotten into me. When I see a scumbag like you, my blood starts boiling in my veins, and I just want to punish you. Make you...

14. Supergirl

A ruthless gang supergirl

Hey, sorry I ran out of bribery coffee.

Mon-El
Hey, sorry I ran out of bribery coffee.

15. Scorpion

Election chaos scorpion

Happy: My top issue on election day? Surveillance. The bad guys watch our every move, but who watches the watchers?
Ralph: You're what my teacher calls the crackpot vote.

Happy: My top issue on election day? Surveillance. The bad guys watch our every move, but who watches the watchers? Ralph: You're what my...

16. Vanderpump Rules

Lisa has some harsh words vanderpump rules

If it was anyone else I don't think I'd believe it, but Kristen chowing down on Kentucky muffin.

Lisa
If it was anyone else I don't think I'd believe it, but Kristen chowing down on Kentucky muffin.

17. Jane The Virgin

The housewarming jane the virgin

Rogelio: Swoon-worthy looks and endlessly generous. You are a prince among men, Rafael Solano, which is one of the many reasons I consider you to be a very good friend.
Rafael: What do you want, Rogelio?

Rogelio: Swoon-worthy looks and endlessly generous. You are a prince among men, Rafael Solano, which is one of the many reasons I...

18. Lucifer

Monkey see monkey do lucifer season 2 episode 7

Chloe: There's no way you can help me right now. You're just...you're too you.
Lucifer: Yes, you're right, detective. Being me seems to be a problem, doesn't it?

Chloe: There's no way you can help me right now. You're just...you're too you. Lucifer: Yes, you're right, detective. Being me seems to...

19. The Mindy Project

Mindy and ben at dinner the mindy project

I was crying in the bathroom because I dropped my phone in the toilet again.

Mindy
I was crying in the bathroom because I dropped my phone in the toilet again.

20. Empire

Cookie is taken off guard empire

Why are you throwing bricks, when you live in a glass house son?

Lucious
Why are you throwing bricks, when you live in a glass house son?

21. Queen Sugar

More to the story queen sugar

Nova: Most people just work to feed themselves and their families, they're not trying to be political. Everything is not always so black and white.
Chantal: Says the sister sleeping with the white cop on a racist police force.

Nova: Most people just work to feed themselves and their families, they're not trying to be political. Everything is not always so black...

22. Salem

Marilyn manson guest stars salem

Mary: What have you done to me now, queen of bitches?
Tituba: Only ripped your soul through the wall of silence, cursed you back to life, and trapped you forever in the home of all your tears. Run as far and as fast as you may, Mary Sibley. You can never escape Salem.

Mary: What have you done to me now, queen of bitches? Tituba: Only ripped your soul through the wall of silence, cursed you back to life,...

23. Law & Order: SVU

Recording assault law and order svu

Logan: Our relationship was complicated.
Benson: Challenging how?
Logan: For one thing, she was transgender.

Logan: Our relationship was complicated. Benson: Challenging how? Logan: For one thing, she was transgender.

24. Frequency

Using bait frequency

Satch: You know, your dad thought the Nightingale was sending us messages. I didn't buy it at the time.
Raimy: What do you mean?
Satch: Setting up scenes to make a point. Goading him. Because your father couldn't catch him.
Raimy: Neither can I. Same thing all over again.

Satch: You know, your dad thought the Nightingale was sending us messages. I didn't buy it at the time. Raimy: What do you mean? Satch:...

25. Code Black

A college student code black

Desmond: That is my child over there!
Leanne: He's not a child! They grew up, Desmond. You're lucky you got to see that happen.

Desmond: That is my child over there! Leanne: He's not a child! They grew up, Desmond. You're lucky you got to see that happen.

26. Designated Survivor

Shots ring out designated survivor

I believe as an Independent I have a unique opportunity to affect positive political change. That I can help bridge the divide. And, together we can find the common ground that has been missing in the American political landscape for years.

Kirkman
I believe as an Independent I have a unique opportunity to affect positive political change. That I can help bridge the divide. And,...

27. Younger

Discussing business younger

Now Gawker is claiming Lena Dunham is Aubrey Alexis! We've already seen her slippery oyster on HBO Go. Don't they know the woman has nothing left to hide?

Moore
Now Gawker is claiming Lena Dunham is Aubrey Alexis! We've already seen her slippery oyster on HBO Go. Don't they know the woman has...

28. Arrow

Fighting talk arrow

We all want to believe in Oliver's crusade, but how are we supposed to follow him into a battle when his first instinct is to hide the truth from us?

Evelyn
We all want to believe in Oliver's crusade, but how are we supposed to follow him into a battle when his first instinct is to hide the...

29. Chicago PD

A dead teen chicago pd

Burgess: We caught a high-profile murder last night and now you have us chasing stolen sandwiches?
Pratt: You didn't catch anything. You answered a call.

Burgess: We caught a high-profile murder last night and now you have us chasing stolen sandwiches? Pratt: You didn't catch anything. You...

30. The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon wants to procreate the big bang theory

Oh my god. I just got it. Fun onions. Funions. Hahahaha!

Raj
Oh my god. I just got it. Fun onions. Funions. Hahahaha!

31. Legends of Tomorrow

Hot looking legends dcs legends of tomorrow

Mick: What are you doing?
Ray [eating]: We're on a stakeout. I brought snacks. Apple slice?
[Mick tosses the bag out the window]

Mick: What are you doing? Ray [eating]: We're on a stakeout. I brought snacks. Apple slice? [Mick tosses the bag out the window]

32. Rosewood

The world of cosmetic surgery rosewood s2e7

Rosewood: Did Mitchie say something weird again?
Pippy: When does he not?

Rosewood: Did Mitchie say something weird again? Pippy: When does he not?

33. Pure Genius

Recoding the brain pure genius

Wow, you really just charmed the pants off her. Sorry Father.

Zoe
Wow, you really just charmed the pants off her. Sorry Father.

34. Pitch

First base pitch

Thank you for mainsplaining that to me! I always wanted to use that word.

Amelia
Thank you for mainsplaining that to me! I always wanted to use that word.

35. Supernatural

The last slice of pizza supernatural season 12 episode 5

I killed Hitler. I think I deserve some pie.

Dean
I killed Hitler. I think I deserve some pie.

36. Grey's Anatomy

Meredith grey photo

Richard: We need to discuss the options.
Meredith: No we don't.
Richard: Why not?
Meredith: Because you also have the Chief of General Surgery in here, Dr. Webber, and I outrank you.

Richard: We need to discuss the options. Meredith: No we don't. Richard: Why not? Meredith: Because you also have the Chief of General...

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TV Quotes, Photo Galleries
Shows:
The Walking Dead, Shameless, Westworld, Once Upon a Time, Quantico, NCIS: Los Angeles, Secrets and Lies, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Madam Secretary, The Last Man on Earth, Gotham, Supergirl, Scorpion, Vanderpump Rules, Jane the Virgin, Lucifer, The Mindy Project, Empire, Queen Sugar, Salem, Law & Order: SVU, Frequency, Code Black, Designated Survivor, Younger, Arrow, Lethal Weapon, Chicago PD, The Big Bang Theory, DC's Legends of Tomorrow, Rosewood, Pure Genius, Pitch, Supernatural, The Blacklist, Grey's Anatomy, Chicago Med, How to Get Away with Murder, Ash vs Evil Dead, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Vampire Diaries, The Exorcist, MacGyver, Blue Bloods
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TV Quotes Quotes

Inej: Kaz, if not Saints, what do you believe in?
Kaz: Myself.
Inej: Why'd I even ask?
Kaz: And you. And Jesper. My Crows.
Inej: Because we flock to your bidding? Like the animals of vengeance, you named us after?
Kaz: Crows don't just remember the faces of people who wronged them. They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for. No Saint ever watched over me. Not like you have.

Amanda: You don't know how you made it to the surface?
Nolan: No, but the purple skins do.
Amanda: Purple skins?
Nolan: I'll tell you on the way