Two and a Half Men Review: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

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Well, it's good to see Two and a Half Men taking advantage of its half man this week, with the first regular episode to air after the two-part season premiere introducing Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Stunned Alan

So was Jake, a live-in Berta, and an increased dose of Judith and Herb enough to make "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food" feel like a classic episode of Two and a Half Men?

I realize trying to compare this show to its Charlie days is going to get old fast.  But I feel like as the show's first episode after the premiere, I still must do so.

So I'm going to leave it as this: the scenes without Kutcher almost feel like the days of old. But the second you have an example like Walden's dinner date with Bridget, it feels like a whole new sitcom... just with the same name. And that's a tough thing to accept after putting in eight years with these people.

I want this show to survive because I still love the other characters. I was glad to see Jake back and I still enjoy his dynamic with his father and the potential blackmailing of Judith. That felt like old Men, complete with a clueless, goofy Herb.

But Kutcher character is so poorly written that the writers can't even decide/remember if he went to high school? Come on, did he skip it or did he have a high school sweetheart!? He still just makes no sense.

I'm not even blaming Kutcher's terrible acting. You can see any of his recent movies to judge that. I'm mostly complaining that Walden doesn't add up. One minute he's a moron who can't put on his shoes, the next he talks like a programming genius who dropped out of MIT.

It's one thing to be socially inept and a genius. We see that weekly on Lorre's other brainchild, The Big Bang Theory. But you can't both be a moron and a genius. Lacking street smarts and not caring enough to take care of yourself is one thing, yet talking and acting like a child with an on and off switch does not make for social awkwardness.

I'll keep saying it until they do it, but they need to continue to tweak Walden's character if it's going to work. That, or just remove him and let the rest of their cast do their thing. But since I doubt that's an option, please look at the geniuses on TBBT. There's got to be some material to borrow from there.

Oh, and will someone please get Kutcher a haircut? If he's going to be believable as the face of gay money, the guy should at least look the part.


Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 1.7 / 5.0 (500 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Chuck Lorre you are "The Biggest Loser!"


This show is really bad.


How about giving the new guy a bath, haircut and a shave - - would certainly make him a lot more watchable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Such a disappointment. Watched the first 10 minutes...Viagra for Alan..masturbating for both Alan and Waldon... not funny. Changed channels and watched an old Golden Girls for the next 20 minutes and laughed about once a minute at some really funny stuff. So long 2 1/2 men..will not watch again. Loved the old shows with the old cast...always funny. Ashton is terrible...such a stupid character...cannot believe he did not object to the stupid food fight... Someone's comment suggested Alan goes into the shower and realizes it was all a bad dream (like on DALLAS many yrs ago).


i do like ashton as an actor hes got charlies off screen morals so i bet that drives chuck loree insane. ashton is alot better actor but the other two actors characters are alot bettter written or performed better than waltons is
i had just got thru watchin the old shows on fx and just lost my attention on the new one
charlies got his money lorres got a show that may be going down the tubes if soemething doenst change soon
thats the funniest part of the the whole thing so far
i guess when charlie was going around chanting winning he really is
hif first wife denise richards is moving in a few houses down the street and then mueller is also (id be happy with richards myself but who wouldnt be if it doesnt improve soon it may not make it thruthe season angus grew up on the show i bet hed feel wierd working anywhere else but then again hes probably worth 20 million (18 last time checked) neither returning is in a pinch for cash and if ashton workks it right he could get alimony from demi


This show needs to be cancelled!!! It just is not the same. Ashton brings nothing to the show. I like all of the other characters. They need tobring Charlie back. The pits, I don't even watch it anymore and it used to be my favorite show.


I think the new show is a great and refreshing start to kick-start a dieing horse. Drunk Charlie, money, women, how many years can you write something new? Gilligan's Island could have went 6-8 seasons. But this was expired.
Now it is off to a new start and can another 8. All you winers are just Charlie fans and not looking at the complete picture. P.S. If I was a writer and an actor I wrote for eight years and he got 1 million per episode and talked shit about my kids and my wife, I would not only fire him I would kick his ass aroud the block. JIM.


I want CHARLIE back !!!!!


AK's part just doesn't fit into the whole plot and setting of the show..Chuck, bite the bullet and bring back Charlie...Unless you don't care about the viewers opinions and you want to continue being a selfish prick who only cares about his "image"...


Ashton comes across as the illegitimate child of tv caveman and Dexter.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 3 Quotes

This guy is like genital herpes. once you got him, you get him for life.


Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.