Two and a Half Men Review: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

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Well, it's good to see Two and a Half Men taking advantage of its half man this week, with the first regular episode to air after the two-part season premiere introducing Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Stunned Alan

So was Jake, a live-in Berta, and an increased dose of Judith and Herb enough to make "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food" feel like a classic episode of Two and a Half Men?

I realize trying to compare this show to its Charlie days is going to get old fast.  But I feel like as the show's first episode after the premiere, I still must do so.

So I'm going to leave it as this: the scenes without Kutcher almost feel like the days of old. But the second you have an example like Walden's dinner date with Bridget, it feels like a whole new sitcom... just with the same name. And that's a tough thing to accept after putting in eight years with these people.

I want this show to survive because I still love the other characters. I was glad to see Jake back and I still enjoy his dynamic with his father and the potential blackmailing of Judith. That felt like old Men, complete with a clueless, goofy Herb.

But Kutcher character is so poorly written that the writers can't even decide/remember if he went to high school? Come on, did he skip it or did he have a high school sweetheart!? He still just makes no sense.

I'm not even blaming Kutcher's terrible acting. You can see any of his recent movies to judge that. I'm mostly complaining that Walden doesn't add up. One minute he's a moron who can't put on his shoes, the next he talks like a programming genius who dropped out of MIT.

It's one thing to be socially inept and a genius. We see that weekly on Lorre's other brainchild, The Big Bang Theory. But you can't both be a moron and a genius. Lacking street smarts and not caring enough to take care of yourself is one thing, yet talking and acting like a child with an on and off switch does not make for social awkwardness.

I'll keep saying it until they do it, but they need to continue to tweak Walden's character if it's going to work. That, or just remove him and let the rest of their cast do their thing. But since I doubt that's an option, please look at the geniuses on TBBT. There's got to be some material to borrow from there.

Oh, and will someone please get Kutcher a haircut? If he's going to be believable as the face of gay money, the guy should at least look the part.


Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 1.7 / 5.0 (500 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


This show is so bad i had to change the channel,,i never missed and epoisode before know i can't sit through 30 minute.get it off the will never be the same ashton is just not cutting it,


ashton as jesus and a naked dumb ass doesn't cut it. if you can kill off charlie dump ashton.


What a huge disappointment. ;I think AK's character is terrible. It's no longer funny, it's stupid and boring. Even though I gave it a couple of tries, I ended up changing the channel. It's a total loser in my opinion


Ashton can't act and his character is ridiculous. Too bad it was a great show while it lasted.


I am sooo disappointed in the show. I completely hate Ashtons' character. Actually seems like a dumber version of Kelso, if that's possible. I agree with a previous comment about the John Stamos scenario as Charlies younger brother.Also agree that without a change in the main character, the show will bomb.Haven't gotten a good laugh out of it yet and considering it is now off my tivo, I probably won't be watching it anymore. :(


I have been a fan of Two and a Half Men since the beginning. Nothing seems the same. I too may not watch the 5th episode if next week doesnt get better.
None of the cast seems the same. I was very disappointed in Ashton. He doesnt belong with the rest of the cast. Even the house has a different feel. I use to look at it and think wow I would love to have a house like that. The last episode didnt impress me with towels and surf board on the balcony. No one mentioned that none of the lines were funny at all. All remarks about sex. That is about it everything they talked about related to sex. When Charlie was there they had other type of jokes. The show looks like it was bought by another company and they have different writers. Where are the funny jokes. The show gets worse instead of better.


So if Herb ever meets Bridget will he realise that she used to be his sister Myra? Like millions of others I'm a huge fan of the show but surely to expect us to forget an actress who played a fairly big part a few years back is just treating us like morons! On the next season let's have Alan wake up, walk to the shower and find Charlie standing there and that all this miserable season was just a dream!!!!


I hate two and a half men now with ashton in it. It's feels like there's two alans without any charlies


just saw the latest episode - worst ever.
good bye "men". mr. lorre - you are a moron.


The real problem with this series now is Jake. He wants to drop out of high school and it looks like this might be an arc for at least a for episodes. Besides from the idea of a lazy, free-loader wanting to suddenly drop out of high school and put effort into starting a business, the real question is: why is Jake still at high school anyway? Jake's character was 10 when the series began. That was 9 years ago. Going by the timeline of the series, he's 19, right? Did he repeat a grade?

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 3 Quotes

This guy is like genital herpes. once you got him, you get him for life.


Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.