Two and a Half Men Review: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

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Well, it's good to see Two and a Half Men taking advantage of its half man this week, with the first regular episode to air after the two-part season premiere introducing Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Stunned Alan

So was Jake, a live-in Berta, and an increased dose of Judith and Herb enough to make "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food" feel like a classic episode of Two and a Half Men?

I realize trying to compare this show to its Charlie days is going to get old fast.  But I feel like as the show's first episode after the premiere, I still must do so.

So I'm going to leave it as this: the scenes without Kutcher almost feel like the days of old. But the second you have an example like Walden's dinner date with Bridget, it feels like a whole new sitcom... just with the same name. And that's a tough thing to accept after putting in eight years with these people.

I want this show to survive because I still love the other characters. I was glad to see Jake back and I still enjoy his dynamic with his father and the potential blackmailing of Judith. That felt like old Men, complete with a clueless, goofy Herb.

But Kutcher character is so poorly written that the writers can't even decide/remember if he went to high school? Come on, did he skip it or did he have a high school sweetheart!? He still just makes no sense.

I'm not even blaming Kutcher's terrible acting. You can see any of his recent movies to judge that. I'm mostly complaining that Walden doesn't add up. One minute he's a moron who can't put on his shoes, the next he talks like a programming genius who dropped out of MIT.

It's one thing to be socially inept and a genius. We see that weekly on Lorre's other brainchild, The Big Bang Theory. But you can't both be a moron and a genius. Lacking street smarts and not caring enough to take care of yourself is one thing, yet talking and acting like a child with an on and off switch does not make for social awkwardness.

I'll keep saying it until they do it, but they need to continue to tweak Walden's character if it's going to work. That, or just remove him and let the rest of their cast do their thing. But since I doubt that's an option, please look at the geniuses on TBBT. There's got to be some material to borrow from there.

Oh, and will someone please get Kutcher a haircut? If he's going to be believable as the face of gay money, the guy should at least look the part.


Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 1.7 / 5.0 (500 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Sorry three strikes and you are out. Can't watch another uncomfortable episode. With exception of a couple of lines from Jake on episode 3) the whole thing is awkward, uncomfortable,unbelievable and not funny. Annoying voice overs, pointless weird scenes (cjec out allan and walden naked in same chair on episode 2) and slapstick food fight in restaurant and allans ex hitting on Walden? I dont want to see Ashton replay his 70's show charactor in Two and a Half Men guys. Whats up with writers and producers? Brain freeze? Not blaming Ashton. Just bad lines and scripts - looks like writers are winging it and confused what direction show and Walden character will take. Not likely to see another season if it continues. No longer smart, fast moving, witty OR entertaining.


Without Charlie I see only one way save this thing. 1. Ashton reconciles with his wife and moves out, (off the show), and leaves the house to Alan for his kindness.
2. Herb and Judith split up and Herb moves in with Alan. Herb and Alan already have an interesting chemistry and lets face it, Ryan Stiles is far better fit in the beach house than Ashton will ever be. What do ya think?


I usually set the set-top-box to view the show one week in advance since this was my favourite show and for the first time I did not since there was absolutely no desire. I share the sentiments as other reviewers, it is no longer funny and I continue to just watch the reruns. I think the target audience has now shifted as my family and friends have also stopped watching what was once a great show. Monday night football can now get my full attention, the viewership must be declining each week, does anybody have the stats? Disappointed Jamaican.


Here's the escape from misery. Rose off course didn't kill Charlie. She trapped him inside her beach house. To keep him for herself. That explains why the body was beyond recognition. One day Jake or that Walden discovers Charlie is alive... Time to let walden die.


Chuckie, you really screwed up. The show sucks and it won't get any better without Charlie. I couldn't wait for Monday nights to watch the show. I never called it Two and A Half Men, I said "it's time for Charlie".I agree with all the others, stop with the knocks against Charlie, you only make yourself look petty, and Charlie deserves better than that. I've watched 3 episodes and that's enough unless Charlie comes back. No one is the same,no chemistry.Kutcher's character plays stupid and even if that were changed, he just doesn't cut it.


poor Lorre completely lost it. He is probably depressed. Or certainly soon will be. So.get back Sheen, Chuck, and be a genius again.


Charlie was the show,rehire charlie and save the show or just cancel it.This show will not make it without Charlie,you just can't replace a man with a kid.


Something isn't right. Berta seems differant. Alan is not as funny without Charlie. Waldon isn't funny just stupid. It just seems like it's not clicking. I'm hopping that Waldon is differant. I really want to like the show but the reruns make me laugh my butt off. I understand that waldon can't be like Charlie but it just isn't funny and there are so many comercials. Just saying!


This was the worst episode yet! I committed to watch for one more week as I was a serious fan who watched all the re-runs from all the seasons at least 3x each, but the new show is not funny anymore- and in fact- it is stupid.
Mr. Lorre, please stop the insults about Charlie during the show. they are insulting to the characters who have to recite them. You would think Allen would show some sympathy on his late brother`s demise- He lived in his house for 8 years-The lines are insulting to your viewers.
The writing stinks without Charlie!!! There is no chemistry between Ashton and Allen. MR LORRE-PLEASE BRING BACK CHARLIE OR CANCEL THE SHOW -CHARLIE WAS THE SHOW!!!!!!!


Note to writers: make kuchers character tolerable. Cut his hair and shave his beard. Then give the audience an excuse for Ashton' character's ignorance. Like he's great with computers but with everything else he's amoron!

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 3 Quotes

This guy is like genital herpes. once you got him, you get him for life.


Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.