Kathy Bates on Two and a Half Men

Yes, Alan you're seeing things. And that thing is guest star Kathy Bates as Charlie Harper.
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Alan Moves in With Lindsey

When Alan moves in with Lindsey the results are not what he expected on Two and a Half Men. "Mr. Hose Says Yes" is the 21st episode of the show's 9th season
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Mothers of a Problem

Alan and Lyndsey are seen here with their mothers, Jean - played by Georgia Engel - and Evelyn, played by Holland Taylor.
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Patton Oswalt on Two and a Half Men

Tension is high here on Two and a Half Men, as Patton Oswalt guest stars as Walden's ex-business partner.
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Drink Much?

Hmmm... does Lyndsey have a drinking problem? Alan ponders that possibility on the episode "Not In My Mouth."
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Trapped on Valentine's Day

These four are trapped inside together on Valentine's Day, not exactly the romantic plans any of them had in mind.
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The Two Men

He did it! Walden and Alan are their typical goofy selves in this scene from Two and a Half Men.
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Fighting for Walden

Victory is theirs? Alan and Walden work together on the first episode of 2012 to keep the latter in control of his company.
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A Two and a Half Men Christmas

It's Christmas on Two and a Half Men, as Alan awkwardly falls for Walden's mom. This is a scene from the episode "One False Move, Zimbabwe!."
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Snap Into It!

Walden tries to snap Alan back into it in this photo from Two and a Half Men. The guy is having problems.
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The Two and a Half Men

Walden, Alan and Jake converse in this Two and a Half Men scene. It's courtesy of the episode "Thank You For The Intercourse."
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Alan and Walden

Walden and Alan react to a crisis in this still. They spot the former's ex with a new man.
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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch

Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Charlie: Thanks.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog