This is Walden's first mistake. Don't listen to Alan when it comes to advice on women.
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A picture of Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt from the Two and a Half Men title sequence. He's an Internet billionaire.
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Alan asks Jake how many zeroes are in a million in this scene. He's stunned by the response.
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You've got a little something on your lips, Walden. Okay. There we go. Much better.
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Welcome, Walden! Alan sends Charlie's ashes flying as he spies his new roommate for the first time.
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Ashton Kutcher joined the Two and a Half Men cast as the billionaire Walden Schmidt. Will he replace Charlie Sheen?
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Ashton Kutcher soaks in the applause here. He's completed shooting on the Two and a Half Men season premiere.
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Meet the men and the new man: Angus T. Jones, Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer pose here for a publicity photo.
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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: You're like an Alzheimer's patient in a whorehouse.
Alan: What do you mean?
Charlie: You're constantly surprised that you're getting screwed, and you don't want to pay for it

Alan: What's wrong with him?
Berta: Classic case of va-jay-jay fever.
Alan: Colorfully put. I'm just surprised to see Charlie fall for it.
Berta: Sooner or later all men fall for it. How do you think I got my condo in Palm Springs?
Alan: You have a condo in Palm Springs?
Berta: No, figure of speech. Don't try to stop by.