Bart: All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale.
Lisa: I don't know what else to do.
Bart: There's only one thing we can do: Take advantage of the old guy. You gotta sign my report card, Dad.

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The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

There, there, Homer. You'll find a job. You've caused plenty of industrial accidents, and you've always bounced back.


(Mr. Burns offers Homer the new job of safety inspector)
Mr. Burns: The generous offer I'm making is good for exactly...30 seconds, Simpson.
Homer's Brain: Me, in charge of safety? This place could blow sky high. Nah. I'll concentrate on my work now. Gee, this guy's desk sure is big. I can't let Marge support the family. This guy's got the cleanest shirt I've ever seen. What should I--.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, time's up.
Homer: Mmm, what the hey. I'll take the job.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.