Homer: Boy, I know you're gonna like your present.
Bart's Present: Shuddup, shuddup, kiss my butt, shuddup, go to hell, go to hell!
Bart: Dad, I promise I'll never get tired of this.

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The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 14 Quotes

"Smooth" Jimmy Apollo: Well, when you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time.
Homer: (yelling at the television set) Why didn't you say that before?!

Homer: You see, Lisa, your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Uh, somewhere in the back.