Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are gonna work for my fans.

Consider yourself lucky you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.

I let down my mom and dad today. And even worse, I let down my teacher.

Haley: You're a freshman, what are you doing in second year math?
Alex: You're a senior, what are you still doing in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again!

Is it one more year or when you leave for college, because those happen to be two different things.

Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?

It was supposed to be special; someone with a high GPA and bright future, not a Mario brother!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Don't stop believing. Get this party started."

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

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