Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?

It was supposed to be special; someone with a high GPA and bright future, not a Mario brother!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Don't stop believing. Get this party started."

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

Alex: Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike to stand up for what he believed in.
Haley: That's because no one would eat with him in the cafeteria.

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

Luke: You know more people have died hiking than in the entire Civil War?
Alex: What book did you read that in?
Luke: Book? Look it up on the internet, Grandma.

Kevin is biting his nails again and Rueben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week. Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.

Manny

Haley: It doesn't matter! I'll go home with anyone!
Alex: That's what it should say on the van.

Relax, more than half the eleventh grade has been in that sweater.

Claire: You're in a house of horrors being held against your will.
Alex: Yeah, I know, so why do I need the cage.

You're never alone when you have books.