Haley: You're a freshman, what are you doing in second year math?
Alex: You're a senior, what are you still doing in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again!

Is it one more year or when you leave for college, because those happen to be two different things.

Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?

It was supposed to be special; someone with a high GPA and bright future, not a Mario brother!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Don't stop believing. Get this party started."

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

Alex: Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike to stand up for what he believed in.
Haley: That's because no one would eat with him in the cafeteria.

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

Luke: You know more people have died hiking than in the entire Civil War?
Alex: What book did you read that in?
Luke: Book? Look it up on the internet, Grandma.

Kevin is biting his nails again and Rueben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week. Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.

Manny

Haley: It doesn't matter! I'll go home with anyone!
Alex: That's what it should say on the van.

Relax, more than half the eleventh grade has been in that sweater.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex