Ann Perkins Quotes
Leslie: Possum, there was a possum. We captured a possum and we brought it into your house and it got out and it might have laid eggs in your bed.
Ann: What?
Leslie: And it went into your laundry and your kitchen and it touched all your bras. And I'm so sorry, it's our fault we captured it and it got out and it ran around and it was a possum, OK? April, run, April. Sorry, Ann. I love you!
Mark: I knew, eventually, somehow being in a relationship with you would totally pay off.
Ann: I bought him some actual towels. He was using a bathrobe. And I bought him some other things that humans usually use, like shampoo.
Ann: What do you need this bird house for? Can we get rid of it?
Leslie: I might need it.
Ann: What about this one?
Leslie: Well, if two birds come along.
Pawnee is the fourth most obese city in America. The kids here are just beefy. They're husky, big-boned, chunk monsters.
Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.
Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.
Andy: You have to choose: me or Justin?
Ann: What? No. I'm dating Mark!
Andy [to camera]: This close.
Andy: No, I just figured because, uh, pool's all about angles and he's a failed architect that he might want to play pool.
Mark: Let's do it.
Ann: Really? That worked?
Ron: When I look at my palm I see a lady's mouth French kissing a dog. Is that normal?
Ann: Well, the pain medication I gave you is pretty strong. Donna uses it for menstrual cramps.
Leslie: Ann, you ready to bag some birds?
Ann: Nope. But I am ready to relax by the fire and get my real simple magazine on.
Leslie: Well if you change your mind, you're now officially a licensed Indiana hunter.
Ann: Oh, gross.
Leslie: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs.
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow, don't hold back.
April: No offense but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie: OK, guys you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish, and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you.
Leslie: People love voting for tragedy. Look at the Oscars! This is our Holocaust movie. This is our English Patient.
Ann: Sounds like you're exploiting the tragedy.
Leslie: See, Ann gets it.
