Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.

I'm going to like the way I look. I guarantee it.

Heavens to Gretzky.

Barney: Where is my cash?
Robin: I did a little exchange for you canucklehead.

I want American Scotch from Scotland!

Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I turned...it...around.

I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.

Nora: Forgot my raincoat.
Barney: That makes one of us.

Oh my god they're six minutes into the date! Ted has probably already told her that he loves her! We gotta get down there!

Robin: The bitch is hiding something!
Barney: Totally hiding something!

Thanks Canada!

HIMYM Quotes

Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro - I'm Broda!

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney