Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.

I'm going to like the way I look. I guarantee it.

Heavens to Gretzky.

Barney: Where is my cash?
Robin: I did a little exchange for you canucklehead.

I want American Scotch from Scotland!

Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I turned...it...around.

I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.

Nora: Forgot my raincoat.
Barney: That makes one of us.

Oh my god they're six minutes into the date! Ted has probably already told her that he loves her! We gotta get down there!

Robin: The bitch is hiding something!
Barney: Totally hiding something!

Thanks Canada!

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted