Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.

I'm going to like the way I look. I guarantee it.

Heavens to Gretzky.

Barney: Where is my cash?
Robin: I did a little exchange for you canucklehead.

I want American Scotch from Scotland!

Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I turned...it...around.

I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.

Nora: Forgot my raincoat.
Barney: That makes one of us.

Oh my god they're six minutes into the date! Ted has probably already told her that he loves her! We gotta get down there!

Robin: The bitch is hiding something!
Barney: Totally hiding something!

Thanks Canada!

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.

Ted