How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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You've been pork free so long you're practically kosher.

She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.

She was a really great Lazer Tag partner. She's tiny so she's allowed to push kids.

Umm, is it getting crowded in here, because I think there are two peas in this pod?

And she sticks the landing, why don't you start stretching and I'll be right back.

Barney: Please, you might as well be dog-earing a tear stained bridal magazine while wolfing down the box of chocolates you had delivered to yourself at work from your fiancé that no one has ever met.
Bev: Gerard is real!

February 13th, a magical night, where a Ten has the self esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a Two.

Whoa check out that one! Her body is a perfect X.

It was actually pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword, so that she could fall on mine.

That family tree of yours has a couple of pretty big coconuts. We had a pretty good time last night and then just hand stuff in the morning so.

Judy: Who got cousin Daphne drunk? She is fifteen.
Robin: They grow them big out here.
Barney: And here's your number back.

Barney: We're gonna get out bro a four star nad rattler. You search knees, feet, banisters, fire hydrants and diving boards. And I'll cover bats, rackets, hockey sticks, golf clubs and riding props.
Ted: What about animals?
Barney: Uh claws, paws, talons, hooves, beaks and clenched monkey's fists, we can do this!

Displaying quotes 181 - 192 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney