Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Barney: You want to make God laugh, tell him your plans right?
Robin: What is wrong with you?

Random Girl: How can you not remember my name...it rhymes with your name?
Barney: And I said my name was?

Marshall you can't pay your mortgage with hacky sacks and good vibes.

No you were right. A kid needs a hoop.

J.J.: I got a paper route.
Barney: Bah! Good time to get into print media right Dad?

Ted this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here...don't ask you're not ready.

I want to be confused with you.

Barney: Never ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she is hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot?

Barney: The N'Sync concert?
Ted: 1998 Cleveland's Agora Theater, front row, caught JC's shirt, what else you got

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