So, naturally I snapped the rip off of a triceratops, bloppidy bloppidy blue, I knocked down the whale.

I'll say this, there is no quit in that guy. You should fire him.

I love the office Halloween party, it is so much sluttier than the office Christmas Party though not as freaky as the office Presidents Day rave.

Want to come to my house and play telephone? I've got the string you've got the cans.

That is what makes you the most amazing, strong, independent woman I have ever banged.

Marshall: Hey, Barney, that prime rib was surprisingly good, but it's ten thirty in the morning I don't really need to see a lady get naked and dance.
Barney: Oh Esther gets naked, but she doesn't dance... That WAS my card!

Barney: And stop shouting, you're scaring Cottontail.
Ted: You named the rabbit?
Barney: You took longer to get here than I thought, we bonded and I'm keeping her.

Barney: And for the love of god, boobs?
Ted: Solid C Cup perky bounce
Barney: Momentary grudging respect.

Asian girls love them some Jews.

Ted that is so romantic, I want to fill a pillow case with dead batteries and beat you with it.

Trish the secretary: Excuse me Mr. Stinson?
Barney: NOT NOW TRISH!

Dude working together is going to be legen- wait for it ...I'll send you an inter office memo with the rest because we friggin' work together!

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted