Man, try to hail a cab in Manhattan, am I right? Nope, no one's stopping for this.

Look at us... it's like three of the same guy. Oh my god, this explains why I was always so good at basketball. Guys, I'm black, sorry African American, no I'm allowed to say both.

Ah, Valentines, the second base of third grade.

You guys are adorable. You honestly believe that I, Barney Stinson, can't talk you into this? I got the queen to give me a fist bump.

Guys, I know you count the minutes until you can escape from your hum drum lives by hearing how awesome mine is.

So this chick and I are going at it behind the Central Park Zoo, the bonobo chimps are giving us a standing O and just when I'm about to give her the same thing - what up?

Barney: Dude you are so in, a high five doesn't cut it. High Six!
Ted: She didn't see us High Six did she?
Robin: No.
Barney: Good. That was pretty lame.
Ted: Yeah, let's never do that again.

You saucy little minx, you sun dressed up.

Barney: If I had my dad's number, I'd never not be on the phone with him.
Lily: Wow, that was really...
Barney: Whoa a hottie with a body! Boing!
Lily: Brief.

Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge open you up, take a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all down hill from here.

Ah you're exquisite; you must let me paint you.

This, what you're doing right now? I'm getting a De-rection.

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted