Barney Stinson Quotes
No! My suit gave its life for this cause and I will not rest till she is mine.
Tim: Your suits death is another suits life.
Barney: Do it.
Tim: You're doing the right thing.
(Barney sobs)
Tim: Please don't cry on this - it's silk.
Suits and insecure woman. I hate them I really just hate them.
I'm going to be like, "drop the act baby doll daddy needs another gin and tonic".
Only two things could cause that commotion - boobs.
[walks in, sees Robin bent over in yoga pose, smoking] I just left something like this in my apartment.
Lily: Maybe smoking isn't so bad. It gets us out in the fresh air.
Barney: Yeah and all the coughing really works my abs.
Barney: Remember when we used to be able to smoke IN bars?
[flash back to smoke-filled haze]
Ted: Hey dude, I think that hot girl over there is smiling at me.
Barney: Uhh, that's a chair. But yeah, dude, hit that!
Ted: They're dividing our group into smokers and non-smokers. That's not healthy.
Barney: You're right. [pause] Let's go have a smoke!
What do you think cigarettes are doing right now? Do you think they're thinking of us?
Barney: I am not a smoker. I only smoke in certain situations: post-coital, when I'm with Germans, sometimes those two overlaps, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day The Mets are mathematically eliminated every year, and, of course, wait for it, cause lord knows I have, pregnancy scares.
Ted: Why are you smoking right now?
Barney: I'm always pre-coital, Ted.
Barney: [on phone] Ten minutes and the window's closed.
Ted: What? Ten minutes?!
Barney: Because we're bros.
