Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS

Oh no! Fluffernutter peed all over my pants!

You un-jinxed me! I'm free! If the bison on the nickel could hear you talk about them they would diminish their population even further on purpose, if Lily wants a big weiner in her mouth she's got my number and I'm sorry that you took the rap for all the farting on the ride up here, that was me!

Marshall, I'm a grown ass man. I'm on my building's co-op board. When I say a pinot noir tastes luxuriously earthy with a hint of rhubarb? I'm not faking it.

Ted: Hugh Hefner, in you lobby, right now!
Barney: I'm gonna grab my robe!

Thanks Robin, this game affects my league score!

Go ahead laugh. Laugh like all the others, but those magicians pulled off the greatest trick of all. They accepted me.

Barney Stinson has to do what's right for Barney Stinson's penis.

I have nothing but the utmost respect for you skanks.

You were this close to ripping off his misbuttoned shirt and pulling down his inside out underpants.

Displaying quotes 55 - 63 of 657 in total