Favorite Ben Wyatt Quotes
Tom: It's almost too easy.
Ben: I can hear you.
Tom: I know you can Ben, that's how easy it is.
That was amazing. That was a flu-ridden Michael Jordan at the '97 NBC FInals. That was Kirk Gibson hobbling up to the plate and hitting a homer off of Dennis Eckersley. That was... that was Leslie Knope.
Look, who hasn't had gay thoughts? Who?
Ben: What's going on?
Leslie: Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.
Ben: Damn it. Again?
Ben: Screw romantic dinners, let's go rub it in their face.
Leslie: God, I love you so much.
Leslie: I am so sick of this Lindsey-
Tom: Leslie, I've got this. You listen to me Lindsey Carlisle-Shea! Why don't you take your fancy dog, get in your Escalade, and if you've got any job openings maybe you should let me know about them.
Ben: C'mon, man-
Tom: No! I'm sick of being treated like I'm not willing to relocate to Eagleton. Because I am! So, here's what you can do, lady. Take this resume, and shove it in your human resources box.
Andy: OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Yea, shove it there!
Are you gonna murder me and bury me at this gas station?
Ben: Should we throw in some salads for a healthy option?
Tom: Wow, don't be such a Jerry, Ben.
Leslie: Yeah, Ben. These guys are cops. Not ballerinas.
Ben: Today is Leslie’s last day as a counselor, so everyone needs to be extra supportive.
Ron: Already done. When I walked past her this morning, I gave her a kind nod.
Ingrid: We purchased HBO for the entire town.
Ben: You spent government money on a TV subscription?
Ingrid: It's not TV.
Leslie: Yes. I know exactly when we should do it. Post-pizza, pre-ice cream, between his third and fourth beer. He'll be full but not stuffed. Tipsy but not drunk. Should be around nine.
Ben: OK. So you've thought this through.
Ben: I got you some waffles here courtesy of J.J.'s Diner. And chicken soup courtesy of me.
Leslie: I'll take the waffles.
