Bob Kelso Quotes
Dr. Kelso: You seem to be developing quite the rapport with your interns.
J.D.: We even spent this weekend building a house for the homeless.
Dr. Kelso: (About the drug patient) Turkelton, you've dealt with him before. Why didn't you tell her?
Turk: Because he told me not to. (Points to Dr. Cox)
Dr. Cox: This is going to cost you.
Turk: Get off my back I'm not in the mood.
Mr. Thompson: Hey, lambchop. Uh, crazy story - I was, uh, I was taking a bus to my plane ticket, there was an accident, and thank God I'm alive. I'd hug you but I, uh, uuuggghhh!
Dr. Kelso: Jordan. Uh, this is one of our most famous con artist-slash-drug addicts.
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You as well. Turkleton? You've dealt with him before-
Mr. Thompson: Hey, dude!
Dr. Kelso: Why didn't you tell her?
Turk: 'Cause he told me not to!
Dr. Cox: This is gonna cost you.
Elliot: Seriously, if you tell, I will never trust you again with anything.
Dr. Kelso: Where've you been?
Carla: Nowhere!
Dr. Mickhead: What're you doing?
Carla: Nothing!
Janitor: How's Blonde Doctor?
Carla: Cheese!
Laverne: What's the dish?
Carla: I gotta go!
Turk: Hey!
Carla: No hablo Ingls!
Dr. Kelso: Perry: your lips, my ass.. they should meet.
Ketchup is for winners, Ted!
Dr. Kelso
Janitor: How do you bother someone without being around them? That is the question.
Dr. Kelso: Dorian, I'm paying you to work, not stand around acting like The Fonz.
Janitor: Perfect.
Dr. Kelso: I hate this place.
Dr. Cox: It hates you, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian, I have kept my mouth shut about all the recent sexual harassment complaints because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk...or, say, asking his secretary just once to dress up as a geisha girl and call him Kelso-san...
J.D.: What?
Dr. Kelso: Nothing.
Dr. Kelso: Who the hell is responsible for not treating that man?
Dr. Cox: Well, Bobbo, I was going to treat him, but I lost my stethoscope.
Dr. Kelso: Gentlemen, a reminder: As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork and your required urine sample by tomorrow.
Dr. Cox: Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork. But I did go ahead and leave my urine sample on your driver's side car door.
Dr. Kelso: You're gonna love it here, sport.
Ted: Get out while you still can.
Keith: Uh...
Ted: Seriously, get out while you still can.
