Favorite Chelsea Quotes
Chelsea: They're not our boobs, they're my breasts
Charlie: If you were to dust them for prints right now, who would be suspect number one?
Charlie: What about your back pain?
Chelsea: I'll live with it.
Charlie: Are you sure?
Chelsea: I live with you, don't I?
Evelyn: I'm doubly pleased that you two have been able to put behind your obvious distasteful history and become such good friends
Chelsea: What distasteful history?
Berta: Come on, at least let them cook my breakfast
Evelyn: Most women would resent the former lover of their fiancee sleeping in the same house as them...
Berta: It ain't me, keep on cooking
Chelsea: So you could see yourself having kids one day?
Charlie: I don't see why not. It turns out I like babies and, as you know, I'm a long time fan of intercourse
Charlie: I'm out of baby wipes.
Chelsea: I bought you two boxes of baby wipes.
Charlie: What can I tell you, babies don't crap like this. At least not healthy babies.
Chelsea [about Jake]: There has to be something beneath that sullen exterior.
Charlie: Yes, a D student with a perpetual boner.
Charlie: Please tell me that's one of those zen sand gardens
Chelsea: You know very well that's Sir lancelot's litter box
Charlie: You brought the cat?
Chelsea: Of course I brought the cat. What did you think I was going to do with him?
Charlie: I don't know, return him to the wild?
Chelsea: You're being ridiculous
Charlie: Is it ridiculous to want the turds in my bathroom to be human?
Chelsea: You're staring at them, Alan
Alan: It's okay, I'm almost a doctor
