You do know this is not the kind of job you should get at a chick from a Hollywood party.

Chuck: I suffer through mediocre sex with an editor's assistant to find out who's publishing your book and this is how you thank me?
Dan: Chuck, you felt nothing after Field of Dreams. So I'm taking it to the next level. If that movie can't make you feel, maybe this little guy can.

Dan: Treatment involves trying to make the patient feel again.
Chuck: That's what I was doing before you showed up.
Dan: Well, how about instead of pain, you try to feel good things? I could tickle you.

[to Nate] It's a good thing you don't offer satisfaction guaranteed or she'd be your third refund this week.

Serena: Have you ever thought about writing a book?
Chuck: People like me don't write books, they're written about.

Chuck: Serena, you accepted responsibility without hesitation for maybe the first time in your life. And Nate, you had more fun not being you than you've had actually being you. Which means you now know you need to change.
Serena: Is it just me, or is what he saying actually making sense?
Nate: Maybe we're not awake yet.

Serena: Yes, it's a dirty word?
Chuck: The word is Yes. I say it at anything. If an opportunity presents itself I take it. There's nothing I won't try once. Even happiness.
Nate: He's very inspiring. I've been saying all summer he should run an infomercial.

Serena: Woah. Usually when you smile like this you look like a creepy Cheshire Cat. But this one is real. What is your secret and if it's legal I want some.
Chuck: It's not a substance. It's a state of mind. A word.
Serena: Let me guess, a dirty word.
Chuck: "Yes".

Chuck: Anything for me?
Nate: Nope.
Chuck: Well if you hear anything crazy it means I'm doing something right.

Chuck: You're a good friend.
Nate: One of us has to be.

Nate: You must really be hurting.
Chuck: How can you tell?
Nate: You're not drinking.

Rufus: He's getting 20 years.
Chuck: Sounds fair. That's how long he kept the secret.
Lily: Well I wouldn't want to be in his shoes, I'll tell you that.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.