Chuck: Humphrey, I'm feeling like my old self again.
Dan: Me too. Although not in a good way. I really thought the days of everyone turning their backs on me were over.
Chuck: Well, at last this time it's because they hate you and not because they don't know you exist. Be patient. Soon your literary misdeeds will be forgotten.

I have to say, when you asked me where you could buy vintage magazines this isn't what I thought you were talking about.

Chuck: Seems like I'm always off on my own.
Lily: I thought you liked it that way.
Chuck: I don't want to be the unrepentant bad boy, who no one cares lives or dies.
Lily: It's just a book, Charles.
Chuck: What if it isn't?
Lily: There are people who care so deeply about you, if you would just let them.
Chuck: Blair is lost to me.
Lily: I know. I'm sorry.

Serena: Hey, do you know where Dan is? Can you believe what he wrote about me?
Chuck: Which part? Sabrina is glamorous, sexy, beautiful.
Serena: Selfish, insensitive, shallow.
Chuck: I can tell you from experience, everyone loves a villain.
Serena: Yeah, I told Blair the same thing. But then I realized if that's true, why are you always alone?
Blair: Not one word! Have you seen Dan?
Serena: No, have you?
Both: Did you see what he wrote me?!
Serena: No, I didn't have time to read all of it. Just the parts about me.
Blair: Me too.
Chuck: Check the study.

Chuck: You spend extra time doing your hair tonight, Nathaniel?
Nate: Ha ha. I don't mind that Dan made me gay.
Chuck: No, I was actually a little offended he didn't make me gay. Personally I thought you'd be more annoyed being conflated with Eric.

Chuck: Success comes at a price. The artist must stand alone to observe the crowd, right?
Dan: That's funny. Vanessa said the same thing.

Dan: Why aren't you mad at me? Your character dies. Accidentally, but it's not a happy ending.
Chuck: On the contrary. Although clearly fiction. I'd never use a belt. I'd use a chartreuse scarf. Much softer.

Dan: Thanks for letting me hang here, man.
Chuck: I enjoy watching you squirm. Scotch?
Dan: It's like two pm.
Chuck: Valium then?

Nate: What's so funny?
Lily: I think you should ask Dan.
Dan: Well I might have made your character a little...
Chuck: Gay.
Dan: I hope that's okay. {to Chuck}. Stop enjoying this so much.
Chuck: You wanted me to feel something. That's a feeling.
Nate: Do I have game?
Chuck: Oh definitely.
Nate: Huh. I'm cool with that.

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