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Meredith: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that.
Creed: The balls on you, man.
Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.
- Permalink: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that. The balls on ...
Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.
- Permalink: Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.
Jim: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?
Andy: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.
Phyllis: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.
Jim: Oh thanks, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.
- Permalink: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I...
[Dwight has hung a large Cornell banner from the ceiling]
Andy: Take that down.
Dwight: Excuse me?
Andy: Take. That. Down.
Meredith: You know I once dated a couple of guys from Cornell. They were really nice. They gave me a ride home.
Andy: I seriously doubt that anyone from Cornell dated you.
Creed: It's pronounced Ker-nell. It's the highest rank in the military.
Andy: It's pronounced "Corn-ell!" It's the highest rank in the Ivy League!
- Permalink: Take that down. Excuse me? Take. That. Down. You know I o...
Oscar: [to Creed, dressed as the Joker] Whoa! Awesome.
Creed: Let's put a smile on that face!
Kevin: [also dressed as the Joker] Dammit Creed! I've been up since four!
- Permalink: Whoa! Awesome. Let's put a smile on that face! Dammit Creed...
Michael: Um, so, Darryl, and the boys in the hood in the warehouse, have graciously donated to, uh, go out for a beer with them right now. You know what, I'm actually going to bid on this. I'm going to start the bidding, because this is something that I have dreamt of-
Darryl: Mike, you can't do that. It's conflict of interest.
Jim: Five dollars.
Darryl: Sold! To Jim.
Michael: Okay. Okay, sold! Have fun, you guys. Well, this next item is sure to spring steam from your ears if you don't win it. It just says "Creed."
Creed: Yeah, that's all-inclusive.
- Permalink: Um, so, Darryl, and the boys in the hood in the warehouse, have ...
Michael: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?
Dwight: Shotgun weddings.
Jim: That's not what that is.
Creed: Fright. Being scared to death.
Holly: Obesity-caused illnesses.
Dwight: Obesity-caused illnesses.
Michael: Thank you. Holly is right.
- Permalink: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is ...
Meredith: What should we do with all these leftovers?
Stanley: I'm taking the dumplings for my wife.
Dwight: No, no, no. This is your last meal. There will be no leftovers.
Creed: I can bring these to my shelter.
- Permalink: What should we do with all these leftovers? I'm taking the dum...
When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go.
- Permalink: When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I...
Dwight: I don't understand why our website has to have social networking at all.
Jim: Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.
Ryan: It's all about creating a one stop shop consumer experience, alright? You're chatting with your friends, you're talking about the latest music, about the election; all of it is happening in our virtual paper store.
Jim: And then an older gentleman asked you "Boxers or briefs?"
Creed: I don't get the big fuss here, I like the site.
Kelly: If I'd have created a website with as many problems, I'd kill myself.
- Permalink: I don't understand why our website has to have social networking...
[from outside the conference room] Hey, it's the kid! Look, look, look, look, look! Hey! It's the temp! Look!
- Permalink: Hey, it's the kid! Look, look, look, look, look! Hey! It's the t...
What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. "What do I do?"... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. "Qua" something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual... quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.
- Permalink: What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's n...