Creed Bratton Quotes
Meredith: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that.
Creed: The balls on you, man.
Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.
- Permalink: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that. The balls on ...
Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.
- Permalink: Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.
Jim: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?
Andy: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.
Phyllis: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.
Jim: Oh thanks, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.
- Permalink: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I...
[Dwight has hung a large Cornell banner from the ceiling]
Andy: Take that down.
Dwight: Excuse me?
Andy: Take. That. Down.
Meredith: You know I once dated a couple of guys from Cornell. They were really nice. They gave me a ride home.
Andy: I seriously doubt that anyone from Cornell dated you.
Creed: It's pronounced Ker-nell. It's the highest rank in the military.
Andy: It's pronounced "Corn-ell!" It's the highest rank in the Ivy League!
- Permalink: Take that down. Excuse me? Take. That. Down. You know I o...
Oscar: [to Creed, dressed as the Joker] Whoa! Awesome.
Creed: Let's put a smile on that face!
Kevin: [also dressed as the Joker] Dammit Creed! I've been up since four!
- Permalink: Whoa! Awesome. Let's put a smile on that face! Dammit Creed...
Michael: Um, so, Darryl, and the boys in the hood in the warehouse, have graciously donated to, uh, go out for a beer with them right now. You know what, I'm actually going to bid on this. I'm going to start the bidding, because this is something that I have dreamt of-
Darryl: Mike, you can't do that. It's conflict of interest.
Jim: Five dollars.
Darryl: Sold! To Jim.
Michael: Okay. Okay, sold! Have fun, you guys. Well, this next item is sure to spring steam from your ears if you don't win it. It just says "Creed."
Creed: Yeah, that's all-inclusive.
- Permalink: Um, so, Darryl, and the boys in the hood in the warehouse, have ...
Michael: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?
Dwight: Shotgun weddings.
Jim: That's not what that is.
Creed: Fright. Being scared to death.
Holly: Obesity-caused illnesses.
Dwight: Obesity-caused illnesses.
Michael: Thank you. Holly is right.
- Permalink: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is ...
Meredith: What should we do with all these leftovers?
Stanley: I'm taking the dumplings for my wife.
Dwight: No, no, no. This is your last meal. There will be no leftovers.
Creed: I can bring these to my shelter.
- Permalink: What should we do with all these leftovers? I'm taking the dum...
When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go.
- Permalink: When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I...
Dwight: I don't understand why our website has to have social networking at all.
Jim: Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.
Ryan: It's all about creating a one stop shop consumer experience, alright? You're chatting with your friends, you're talking about the latest music, about the election; all of it is happening in our virtual paper store.
Jim: And then an older gentleman asked you "Boxers or briefs?"
Creed: I don't get the big fuss here, I like the site.
Kelly: If I'd have created a website with as many problems, I'd kill myself.
- Permalink: I don't understand why our website has to have social networking...
[from outside the conference room] Hey, it's the kid! Look, look, look, look, look! Hey! It's the temp! Look!
- Permalink: Hey, it's the kid! Look, look, look, look, look! Hey! It's the t...
What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. "What do I do?"... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. "Qua" something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual... quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.
- Permalink: What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's n...
Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.Michael
- Permalink: Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sin...
I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.Andy
- Permalink: I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days befor...