Tyler: You're a joke, Damon.
Damon: Says the guy pining for the girl who slept with Klaus.

What's up, Doc?

Elena: What was that for?
Damon: I had a really crappy day and I needed it.

I’d blame it on the spirit of Bill Forbes, but I don’t think you’re his type.

Elena: Have a little respect for the dead?
Damon: I respect that he’s dead, how about that?

You have Elena participating in squirrel slaughter?

Damon: I'm gonna barf.
Katherine: Great. Then my work here is done.

That's my brother Stefan. But I'd watch your tone with him because he's kind in the middle of a psychotic break.

I donated my body to science. Except it was against my will.

Markos has a good week or two in the land of the living. Now, where is he so I can kill him?

I will make it back to you. I promise.

You are by far the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my 173 years on this earth.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.