Silas: What I don't get is why she likes you.
Damon: That's because you haven't had sex with me.

Caroline: Damon. Towel. Knock!
Damon: Caroline. No one cares. No!

You do realize you are dating a reformed serial killer, right?

How is it even when you're dead you're the bane of my existence?

Stefan: I should be upstairs grooming my hero hair.
Damon: Are you drunk?
Stefan: I don't know, Mom, am I?

Damon: She's strong and crafty and you'll die.
Elena: At least I'll die trying.

Elena's only goal is to end Katherine's life. That isn't gonna magically go away with Pilates and a juice cleanse.

Damon: Is the old you read to come out and play?
Elena: Go to Hell.

Hindsight is almost a bigger bitch than you.

No sudden moves. No tricks, either. No Katherine-ing.

Stefan: Where is she now?
Damon: Maybe eating a hot dog... vendor.

You wanted to feed? I brought you to a city-sized buffet.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.