That's my brother Stefan. But I'd watch your tone with him because he's kind in the middle of a psychotic break.

Damon: I'm gonna barf.
Katherine: Great. Then my work here is done.

Listen, how I got this amazing body has nothing to do with science.

Hang on. I only count two doppelgangers. Where's Crazy Pants?

You want Doppleganger blood?!? I've got Dopplegangers coming out of my ears!

Elena: We have a situation.
Damon: Of the Doppleganger variety.

Elena, meet Crazy Pants. Crazy Pants, meet Elena.

It's called being secure. I can tell you believe in that by the way you wear your hair.

Put the damn crossbow down, Pocahontas.

Tessa: Buy you an I'm sorry drink?
Damon: More like an I'm sorry keg.

Guilt. Don't know it, but I've heard it can be a royal bitch.

Why do you suck so badly at killing yourself?

Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.