Well I'm no doctor, but this guy is screwed.

Liz: I paid extra for this room to be a single.
Damon: You clearly underestimate the number of women who would die to spend the night with me.
Liz: Well I'm not dead yet.

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Caroline: Let me get you another blanket.
Damon: So you can literally smother her?

[to Alaric] That's it? We're gonna kill bad guys together and you're not even going to talk to me?

Is that what you people think of me? That I just instantly resort to violence?

Well, Beavis and Butthead are on the lookout. Anyone else brimming with confidence?

Elena: Everything you've been doing for Bonnie...thank you.
Damon: She'd do it for us.

Elena: I'm sorry I compelled away the memories. They were only half mine.
Damon: We'll make new ones.

She had hope. For both of us. She's the reason I survived, the reason I made it out. Who knew? It turns out you spend time with someone and don't kill them you actually become friends. I'm doing this for Bonnie, Elena, not you.

We have Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Boyz II Men...Stefan's.

Damon: Kai? If you so much as hurt one hair on her annoying little witch head-
Bonnie: That was so sweet. Why'd you have to ruin it by calling me annoying?

Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.