TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch House.

Thanks for all my help!

If she likes crippled guys, I'm free for the next six minutes.

They decided that you being stabbed was nobody's fault. They're wrong. I'm sorry.

Are you going to have me fired for bad manners?

Unsquint your eyes.

Good things usually happen. Bad things sometimes happen.

I'm giving you the gift of deniability.

I'd turn around and shoot you, but I think I'd miss.

Are you not going to introduce us because we're married? Oh wait, she is.

As much as I'd like to take your word for it, I have no interest in taking your word for it.

Better to have shtupped and lost than to not have shtupped at all.

Chase: Taub's daughter is sick.
House: Isn't that the point of having a spare?

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 552 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.