Dr. Park: I've tapped over 30 guys and never wanted to see them again. [long pause] I lived next to a Jewish frat.
House: We are wildly off track.

With great power, comes great micromanaging. And vests.

Well, Clyde, we got ourselves a good ol' fashioned cat fight.

She probably also believes that Salma Hayek's breasts are too big.

Adams: What happened to your eye?
House: I grabbed Park's ass.

I don't see creed, color, pulse.

Death is a consequence, not a symptom.

It's normal to be screwed up. It's not normal to romanticize it.

Patient: Now I have swollen ankles!
House: The medical term is cankles.

[To Foreman} That'd be redundant. I've got an angry black guy waiting for me to drop the soap right here.

[To a clinic patient] As much as I'd like to kill you, murder violates my parole.

[After describing Chase's upbringing] He's also dreamy, but that's not relevant now.

House Quotes

Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain.
House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.