What are you doing? We got a patient with a walking disorder who can't seize. No wait. I'm close though, right?

Because I can get a rise out of your BP. His pee pee, on the other hand...

Thirteen: The truth made him miserable.
House: It's like there's two of me.

There's no wrong choices. At least that's what they tell people who make the crappy choices.

Chase: What's with the sudden interest in her future?
House: You know, a blacksmith who spends as much time hammering out a new blade from raw Jello, he's curious about who ends up wielding it.
Foreman: no reason to be curious unless you're interested in wielding it yourself.

Relax. She's completely honest and also completely boring.

Do you know how to do 9 LP's? Do you know how to do 9 LP's and say it's ten? It's time to grow up.

A third lie. Welcome to the slippery slope.

You had me at "I had to pee."

Pretty sure the law of the land states that everyone has a right to be an idiot. At least the Second Amendment.

House: Nothing will ever be simple again.
Masters: That's fine with me.

I'll kill you. When the time comes if you want me to. I'll do it now if you like. Hey, I've got a baseball bat in the back.

House (to Thirteen)

House Quotes

[To Foreman} That'd be redundant. I've got an angry black guy waiting for me to drop the soap right here.

House

(To Cuddy) If it turns out she has Meningitis, you're right, you win. But if we go back downstairs and she dies, pfft... your face will be so red!

House