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What are you doing? We got a patient with a walking disorder who can't seize. No wait. I'm close though, right?

Because I can get a rise out of your BP. His pee pee, on the other hand...

Thirteen: The truth made him miserable.
House: It's like there's two of me.

There's no wrong choices. At least that's what they tell people who make the crappy choices.

Chase: What's with the sudden interest in her future?
House: You know, a blacksmith who spends as much time hammering out a new blade from raw Jello, he's curious about who ends up wielding it.
Foreman: no reason to be curious unless you're interested in wielding it yourself.

Relax. She's completely honest and also completely boring.

Do you know how to do 9 LP's? Do you know how to do 9 LP's and say it's ten? It's time to grow up.

A third lie. Welcome to the slippery slope.

You had me at "I had to pee."

Pretty sure the law of the land states that everyone has a right to be an idiot. At least the Second Amendment.

House: Nothing will ever be simple again.
Masters: That's fine with me.

I'll kill you. When the time comes if you want me to. I'll do it now if you like. Hey, I've got a baseball bat in the back.

House (to Thirteen)
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 552 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.