What are you doing? We got a patient with a walking disorder who can't seize. No wait. I'm close though, right?

Because I can get a rise out of your BP. His pee pee, on the other hand...

Thirteen: The truth made him miserable.
House: It's like there's two of me.

There's no wrong choices. At least that's what they tell people who make the crappy choices.

Chase: What's with the sudden interest in her future?
House: You know, a blacksmith who spends as much time hammering out a new blade from raw Jello, he's curious about who ends up wielding it.
Foreman: no reason to be curious unless you're interested in wielding it yourself.

Relax. She's completely honest and also completely boring.

Do you know how to do 9 LP's? Do you know how to do 9 LP's and say it's ten? It's time to grow up.

A third lie. Welcome to the slippery slope.

You had me at "I had to pee."

Pretty sure the law of the land states that everyone has a right to be an idiot. At least the Second Amendment.

House: Nothing will ever be simple again.
Masters: That's fine with me.

I'll kill you. When the time comes if you want me to. I'll do it now if you like. Hey, I've got a baseball bat in the back.

House (to Thirteen)

House Quotes

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams