Dwight: Excuse me, I have to run to my car, to take a dump.
Kevin: wish my car had a bathroom.

Where are gay men's vaginas?

There are a million gorgeous guys in the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area, and you choose the man who's a father of her child?

He and the senator are gaying each other.

It's cruel, because a woman with damaged knees can't scrub worth a damn.

Trevor: Is it safe to talk?
Dwight: Well this documentary crew has been following our every move for the past nine years, but I don't see them, so I think we're good.

I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes.

It's business women and their power suits and their shoulder pads. Don't lie about your shoulders.

Dwight: He used to fight dogs.
Pam: Like he used to make dogs fight or he actually fought dogs?
Dwight: Little of this, little of that.

Your daughter could be a bubble bath model. I could just bite her head off.

It's not for worms or eczema like any normal pill.

What lab did these little clones escape from?

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael