Now you're locked in a prison bus and your woman drips with beverage.

No nobbies, no probbies. Nice try Jim.

It's a wire people. I'm not buying it a fur coat.

People laughed at Klingon at first, and now you can major in it.

Ah, French. It's a great language...if you're a chain smoking acrobat.

They say you only live once, and I'm about to prove it.

Dwight: Is there a belt above black?
Jim: You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect.

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

I wonder if king size sheets are called presidential sized in England. I really should have a tweeter account.

Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy