Elaine Benes Quotes
I never knew I could drive like that. I was going faster than I've ever gone before, and yet, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. I was seeing three and four moves ahead, weaving in and out of lanes like an Olympic skier on a gold medal run. I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics. At Queens Boulevard, I took the shoulder. At Jewel Avenue, I used the median. I had it. I was there. And then, I hit the Van Wyck. They say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck, but gentlemen, I tell you this I came as close as anyone ever has. And if it hadn't been for that five-car pile-up on Rockaway Boulevard, that numbskull would be on a plane for Seattle right now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.
If I don't get this guy on a plane to Seattle and out of my life, I'm gonna kill him, and everyone who tries to stop me.
Movie theater hot dogs, I'd rather lick the food off the floor.
Health cookies. I hate those dustboard, fructose things.
Elaine: I feel like just walking over to a table and taking food off of someone's plate.
Jerry: I'll tell you what. There's $50 in it for you if you do it.
George: $50? For $50, I'll put my face in their soup and blow!
Elaine: You ever notice how happy people are when they finally get a table? They feel so special because they've been chosen. It's enough to make you SICK!!
Jerry: Boy. You are REALLY hungry.
Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents? Remember, it was such a treat. You go and they serve you this different food that you never saw before. They put it in front of you and it was such a delicious and exciting adventure and now I just feel like a big sweaty hog waiting for them to fill up the trough.
Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease.
Jerry: I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome?
Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.
Jerry: Explain to me how this baby shower thing works.
Elaine: What do you wanna know?
Jerry: Well, I mean, does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?
Elaine: Rarely.
Elaine: Pal? You think I'm your pal?
Jerry: I said "and more."
Kramer: What are you guys going to do today?Elaine: This... and that.Jerry: And the other!
Elaine: What was that look?
Jerry: What look?
Elaine: The look you just gave me.
Jerry: I gave a look?
Elaine: Yes.
Jerry: What kind of look?
Elaine: I know that look.
Jerry: Then what was it?
Elaine: Why should I tell you?
Jerry: Well, you're the big look expert. I want to see how smart you are.
Elaine: Trust me, I know the look.