Cynthia thought we should nuke the rainforest, get rid of it in one sweep, just so we can eliminate it as a topic of conversation.

And there it was, mountains of duck. And not fatty duck either, but juicy tender breasts of duck.

Jerry: Let me ask you a question. If you named a kid Rasputin do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?
Elaine: Nah.

Elaine: I wonder what Gandhi ate before he fasted.Jerry: I heard he used to polish off a box of Triscuits.Elaine: Really?Jerry: Oh yeah, Gandhi loved Triscuits.

Elaine: Hey, have you ever fasted?
Jerry: Well, once I didn't have dinner until, like nine o'clock. That was pretty rough.

Elaine: It's really bad for the fetus. Do you know that.
George: Elaine, she's a psychic. She knows how the kid's going to be.

Elaine: How do we know that dog food is any good? Who tastes it?
Jerry: She's really hungry.

Jerry: Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.
Elaine: Well, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg.
Jerry: Even if this so-called mental defective did put something on her leg, she's still the one who laughed.

No, no, no, you don't understand! I'm not a lesbian! I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian!

Woman: I started riding these trains in the '40s. Those days a man would give up their seat for a woman. Now we're liberated and we have to stand.
Elaine: It's ironic.
Woman: What's ironic?
Elaine: This -- that we've come all this way, we've made all this progress, but, you know, we've lost the little things, the niceties.
Woman: No, I mean what does "ironic" mean?

Elaine: I'll be ostracized from the community.
Jerry: What community? There's a community?
Elaine: Of course there's a community.
Jerry: All these years I'm living in a community, I had no idea.

Elaine: Guess who I bumped into. Owen.George: He's alright?Elaine: Yeah, he's almost fully recovered. He told me he was just using me for sex.

Seinfeld Quotes

Kramer: THE BEACH!!! (enters the apartment) You smell like the beach. What's the name of that perfume you're wearing?
Tia: It's Ocean by CALVIN KLEIN.
Kramer: CALVIN KLEIN? No, no. That's my idea. They, they stole my idea. Y'see I had the idea of a cologne that makes you smell like you just came from the beach.
Jerry: I know look at this (shows an ad from CK)
Kramer: (shocked) Whooo! That's you! What is going on here? The gyp, he laughs at me then he steals my idea. I could have been a millionaire. I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry. They're not going to get away with this. (leaves)

Hoh hoh hoh, yes! Yes...Cleveland 117, San Antonio 109.

Tor