(Jerry has lost track of George's car)
Jerry: What is he doing? Is he out of his mind? Do you see him? I don't even think I see him anymore. Where is he?
Elaine: Isn't that blue car him?
Jerry: No, no that's not him. What happened to him. I can't believe it. I lost him. That stupid idiot. Now what are we gonna do?
Elaine: It's no big deal, Jerry. We'll just meet him at the bubble boy's house.
Jerry: I don't even know where the bubble boy lives. I don't even remember the name of the town.
Elaine: You don't have the directions?
Jerry: No, I was following him.
Elaine: How could you not take the directions?
Jerry: Because HE'S my directions.

Kramer: Have we been intimate?
Elaine: Yeah, yeah we've been intimate.
Kramer: And how often do we do it?
Elaine: Kramer! How is that important? Honestly, do you really think he's going to ask you that?
Kramer: Elaine, he's a psychiatrist. They're interested in stuff like that.
Elaine: All right, all right. We do it, uh five times a week. Okay?
Kramer: Ooooh baby!

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

Keith: Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base.
Elaine: Ha, ha. Well, I know something about getting to first base. And I know you'll never be there.
Keith: The way I figure it I've already been there, and I plan on rounding second tonight at around eleven o'clock.
Elaine: Well, uh, I'd watch the third base coach if I were you 'cause I don't think he's waving you in.

Jerry: So, did you two, uh... have uh...
Elaine: What?!
Jerry: You know.
Elaine: Milk?
Jerry: No!
Elaine: Cookies?!

Elaine: I love Cajun cooking.
Keith: Really? You know my mom's Cajun.
Elaine: Oh, my father's drunk. *laughs*

(mimicking their friend) You gotta see the baby!

Jerry/Elaine

I gotta get some new friends.

(Newman refuses to tell Jerry and George where Kramer is)
Jerry: (to Newman) Now, you better tell me where Kramer is, or are we gonna have to do this the hard way?
(Hits the wall with his fist)
Newman: Help! Help!
Jerry: Where's Kramer?
Newman: Help!
(Elaine enters)
Elaine: What's going on?
(Newman hides behind Elaine)
Newman: They're gonna beat me up!
George: No we're not.
Jerry: We're trying to find out what happened to Kramer.
Newman: You wanna know what happened to Kramer? I'll tell you what happened to Kramer. He was ticked off. About they keys. Yeah, that's right - about the keys. Thought he got a bad rap.
Jerry: Bad rap?
Newman: Yeah, from you.
Jerry: Me?
Newman: You heard me. So he packed it up and split for the coast. La-La Land. LA.

George: I really think it looks good.
Elaine: Ten bucks, how can you go wrong?
George: All bald people look good in hats.
Elaine: You should have lived in the '20s and '30s, you know men wore hats all the time then.
George: What a bald paradise that must have been.

Jerry: What did you do to my car?!
George: I couldn't help it! Elaine moved the mirror. I got discombobulated.
Elaine: Oh, like you've ever been "bobulated."

Ouch, my cuticle!

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 212 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

(to George) I don't know what your parents did to you.

Elaine
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