Joyce: I can get you a spot right behind him. He has got a great butt.
Elaine: Yeah. Butt. Butt. Great butt. John-John's butt.

(angrily) He left with Marla, the virgin?!

Jerry: What happened?
Elaine: It was, uh, John John.
Jerry and George: Ohhhhh. John John.

Jerry: But the question is, are you still master of your domain?
Elaine: I'm queen of the castle.

John F. Kennedy Jun-ya!

This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, the one thing you gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it's over. I mean, something happens to their personality. It's really quite astounding. It's like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there.

Elaine: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing the street and he was biking right towards me. So I got out of the way just in time, but then he ran into a parked car. He hit his head and everything went flying.
George: Something happened to the food?!!

Jerry: She's a virgin. She just told me.
Elaine: I didn't know.
Jerry: Well, it's not like spotting a toupee!
Elaine: Do you think I should say something? Should I apologize? Was I being anti-virgin?

You know, it's so sad that all you know about high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.

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