Oh my God he's on a horse.

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Andy: There's my girl I need a kiss.
Ellie: You'll live.

Ellie: I miss being a ho.
Laurie: You want back in? Because we'll take you back.

It wouldn't have been a thong on a six-year old!

Jules: Did you really just hiss?
Ellie: I'm trying it out.

Jules: Ellie, I love you so much. I want to ask you something.
Ellie: Are we finally running away together? Because I keep a bag in my truck!
Jules: Me too.
Ellie: Awesome.

Jules: Andy let the ice cream melt so he had to die.
Ellie: It's only pretend murder. We used to fight so much about the little things, now, whenever I get so mad that when I want to kill him I just do it.
Andy: It's been a great tool in our marriage

Jules: Sweetie, this should be the gang.
Ellie: It totally should.

Old Ferrett eyes is like four centimeters dilated right now.

Jules: This is the first time on this trip it's been just the ladies.
Ellie: It's an embarrassment of bitches.

Ellie: It's for the lady who likes to lounge by the pool, but also get paid for sex.
Laurie: You can do that? Is that a job?

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Take OFF the mom goggles!

Laurie