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Cougar-town

Old Ferrett eyes is like four centimeters dilated right now.

Jules: This is the first time on this trip it's been just the ladies.
Ellie: It's an embarrassment of bitches.

Ellie: It's for the lady who likes to lounge by the pool, but also get paid for sex.
Laurie: You can do that? Is that a job?

Bobby: I don't get this timezone crap. How can it be one time here and then another time at home. This isn't Star Trek.
Ellie: I wonder what you're doing in Florida right now.

Ellie: What do you want him to do? Live here until he's 60 so you two can spend every second of your lives together?
Jules: Oh my God that would be amazing.

Ellie: Are those all our houses?
Grayson: And that's us there, burning alive. You don't even have a head. No, wait, there it is.
Ellie: Why is my severed head still screaming?

Ellie: You should be spraying it from the other side to push it all towards the curb.
Grayson: Are you really telling me how to hose?

Grayson: Like Children of the Corn.
Ellie: I crown you King of the Wussies.
Jules: They don't blink.
Ellie: I feel cold.
Grayson: Told ya!

Ellie: What the hell? I don't want to have see this everyday.
Jules: Really, rainbows get you riled up?

Ellie: Hello Tom, to what do we owe the creepy displeasure?
Tom: Jules left her curtains open. That's how she signals me to come over.

Ellie: If I get murdered I need you to tell the police something.
Laurie: Seriously, if I had a dime.

Ellie: You know if they just wanted to see some dumb, townie ho floppin' her ta-tas all they need to do is stay here and give ten dollars to-
Laurie: Yeah, yeah, yeah I know where you're goin' with this.
Ellie: Let me finish. You.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 207 in total

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Cougar Town Quotes

Wooo! How can I do woo wrong?

Jules

Laurie [to Jules for picture]: Arch your back and stick out your chest
Ellie: And say classy!

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