George Costanza Quotes
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
Jerry / Elaine / Kramer / George
Elaine: Guess who I bumped into. Owen.George: He's alright?Elaine: Yeah, he's almost fully recovered. He told me he was just using me for sex.
George: Woody mentioned me? What did he say?
Kramer: He said, "Who's the moron in the blue jacket who's got the street all screwed up?"
George: (taking the lunch check) Here, let me get that. I smashed your car, cost you $2,000...
Jerry: Yeah, a cup of coffee should cover that.
You got aloe? I love aloe.
I long for you.
The last time a woman said that [make love to me] to me I wound up apologizing to her.
George: I can't believe what's happening here. She hasn't taken her hands off me all night. She was always friendly around the office, but that was it!
Jerry: How do you account for this?
George: Maybe a safe fell on her head.
You haven't won. You may think you've won, but you haven't won. Do you know why? It's not over. This is not over. I'm not forgetting what's happening here. You have my ten dollars. I will get it back. Alright, don't worry. It's not over. I'm going now. Good bye. I will be back.
George: Every day is a date.Jerry: That's one of Dante's nine stages of hell, isn't it?
Every time I go to the bathroom I pass her desk. I have to plan little patter. I spend half my day writing. Then afterwards, I sit in my office and analyze how it went. If it was a good conversation, I don't go to the bathroom for the rest of the day.
George: Where'd you meet her?
Jerry: I met her on an elevator.
George: On an elevator? You met a woman on an elevator?
Jerry: Impossible, right?
George: You got less than 60 seconds. It's like dismantling a time bomb.