Glenn Quagmire Quotes (Page 13)
Season 3, Episode 14: "Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?"
Quagmire [after finding a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]: Dear Diary, Jackpot!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 10: "Fish Out of Water"
Auctioneer: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty bucks!
Auctioneer: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioneer: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 7: "Lethal Weapons"
Quagmire: Hey baby, how about showing me your Lower East Side?
Transvestite: Sure.
Quagmire: Whoa, transvestite! Wait a moment, pre-op or post-op?
Transvestite: Pre-op.
Quagmire: Whoa, transvestite! Back off!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 5: "And the Wiener is..."
Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'. Giggety, giggety, gig-get-ty
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 4: "One If By Clam, Two If By Sea"
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, boys! Where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I!
Cleveland: Quagmire. You forgot to say "oh".
Quagmire: You sure? I think I did... Well, just to be safe. Oh!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 1: "The Thin White Line"
Joe: Say hello to our newest narc.
Quagmire: Oh, yeah? (to Brian) How good are you?
Brian: (Sniffs) You're back from Manila. You had lumpia for dinner. Then you made love to two Filipino women. (Sniffs) And a man.
Quagmire: You mean three Filipino women. (Brian stares blankly) NOOOOO!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 2, Episode 21: "Fore, Father"
Joe: Hey, Quagmire! You wanna come camping with us?
Quagmire: Sorry, boys. The only tent I'm gonna be pitchin' this weekend is... well, you can see where I'm goin' with this. Oh
• Rating: Unrated
Season 2, Episode 8: "I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar"
Quagmire: I'd do everything to you.
Lois: What?
Quagmire: I'd do anything for you
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 5: "Love Thy Trophy"
Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8:00 ... and home by 11:00, OH!
• Rating: Unrated
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 133