Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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You dated a Dottie after Dede?

Jay we use this to get tables at restaurants, why can't we use it to get Manny a friend?

Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.

There are blind models? That's so sad, they can't see how pretty they are!

It's a freakshow, but it's their freakshow.

I know you can't tell by looking at me, but I'm not a natural homemaker.

That's when you know your family loves you, when they feel free to scream at you.

Gloria: Luke!
Luke: At what?
Gloria: What do you mean at what? I said Luke.
Luke: I am looking!

Jay: If you told him the truth he'd thank you later.
Gloria: Like Claire and Mitch, did they thank you?
Jay: Not yet, but it's coming.

If you want him to stop lifting stuff, put it in grocery bags and put a football game on TV.

Gloria: I cannot believe he spent 50 dollars on this.
Jay: I know! He could've gotten a two-year subscription to Playboy for that.

What do you mean she blossomed? Like the puberty?

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 143 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria