Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Manny, sometimes you can be a little old fashioned. Remember the first time you saw the kids with the backpacks with wheels and you thought they were a little flashy?

Manny: I wanna be home-schooled.
Gloria: Really Manny? You want me to learn you English?

Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.

Cam I don't have all day to describe my meals to you.

Claire: None of you believe me so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now!
Gloria: Claire, please, enough with the sucking it! They're children!

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Jay: Sausage-of-the-month club really nailed it in May, but honey, no offense, they almost lost me last month with that chorizo.
Gloria: Why no offense? It's a sausage, it's not on our flag.

Gloria: He thought we were gonna use it all the time, but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.
Jay: Champagne problems, right?

Jay: This is embarrassing...
Gloria: For the both of us.

Jay: I had botox.
Gloria: Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?

But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!

I love Manny, but sometimes, I...be a boy. Go outside kick a ball and steal something.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 143 in total