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Modern-family

Gloria: He thought we were gonna use it all the time, but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.
Jay: Champagne problems, right?

Jay: This is embarrassing...
Gloria: For the both of us.

Jay: I had botox.
Gloria: Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?

But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!

I love Manny, but sometimes, I...be a boy. Go outside kick a ball and steal something.

Gloria: Lily! When something awful happens, you're going to be mine!
Mitchell: It really is an "if" situation...
Gloria: All mine!

Gloria: I said I was sorry! But I've had them since I was two. Huge ones!
Phil: What is she...?
Claire: Earrings, Phil. Earrings.

Cameron: You punctured our daughter!
Gloria: But did you see both sides? I didn't just do the gay ear, look!

Gloria: Where I come from, brothers respect each other.
Jay: That's why Colombia is such a peaceful country.

Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.

Ta-da is for when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body.

Gloria: I do Jay. Why can't I do you?
Phil: You can... do me.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 136 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Do I have time for a steam?

Manny

And what are we supposed to tell the baby? Say hi to your Aunt Mommy!

Mitchell
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