Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.

Cam I don't have all day to describe my meals to you.

Claire: None of you believe me so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now!
Gloria: Claire, please, enough with the sucking it! They're children!

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Jay: Sausage-of-the-month club really nailed it in May, but honey, no offense, they almost lost me last month with that chorizo.
Gloria: Why no offense? It's a sausage, it's not on our flag.

Gloria: He thought we were gonna use it all the time, but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.
Jay: Champagne problems, right?

Jay: This is embarrassing...
Gloria: For the both of us.

Jay: I had botox.
Gloria: Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?

But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!

I love Manny, but sometimes, I...be a boy. Go outside kick a ball and steal something.

Gloria: Lily! When something awful happens, you're going to be mine!
Mitchell: It really is an "if" situation...
Gloria: All mine!

Gloria: I said I was sorry! But I've had them since I was two. Huge ones!
Phil: What is she...?
Claire: Earrings, Phil. Earrings.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 141 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke
× Close Ad