Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Gloria: Lily! When something awful happens, you're going to be mine!
Mitchell: It really is an "if" situation...
Gloria: All mine!

Gloria: I said I was sorry! But I've had them since I was two. Huge ones!
Phil: What is she...?
Claire: Earrings, Phil. Earrings.

Cameron: You punctured our daughter!
Gloria: But did you see both sides? I didn't just do the gay ear, look!

Gloria: Where I come from, brothers respect each other.
Jay: That's why Colombia is such a peaceful country.

Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.

Ta-da is for when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body.

Gloria: I do Jay. Why can't I do you?
Phil: You can... do me.

Now we know. You are romantic, and I'm smarter than you. And I bought you a motorcycle.

I am the second wife Jay, why do you treat me like I'm the first?

It sended! Please come back!

Claire: Gus is a symbol.
Gloria: A sex symbol?

In Colombia, you can't go to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 143 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria