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Modern-family

Ta-da is for when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body.

Gloria: I do Jay. Why can't I do you?
Phil: You can... do me.

Now we know. You are romantic, and I'm smarter than you. And I bought you a motorcycle.

I am the second wife Jay, why do you treat me like I'm the first?

It sended! Please come back!

Claire: Gus is a symbol.
Gloria: A sex symbol?

In Colombia, you can't go to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.

Why do I almost always kill my husbands? I will never forget you, Jay!

Jay: We finish each other's sentences. Like, tonight we are going to... Gloria: Have so much fun!

That doesn't make any sense! Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world filled with little poh-pees.

He scared the baby cheeses out of me!

A bruja is a witch! A gar-golll is a gar-golll.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 138 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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