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The-simpsons

Selma: Now, we are on our honeymoon
Grampa: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa.
Selma: Whoa boy.

Selma: Wanna split a basket of garlic bread?
Grampa: Slow down you hussie!

In a world of thirty-one flavors, we're the cup of water they rinse the scoops in. Grampa out.

Homer: We left plenty of food so you won't starve!
Grampa: Thank you!
Homer: I was talking to the cat!

Grampa: I can finally win a gold medal. I came close at the 1936 Olympics. I threw a javelin that barely missed Hitler. But I did hit an assassin who was trying to kill Hitler.
Hitler (in 1936): What is this, Kill Hitler Day?
Grampa: The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it.

Grampa: (With his gold medal.) I've never been happier!
("The Star-Spangled Banner" plays)
Grampa: Turn that hippie crap off!

Homer: My mother's dead.
Grampa: I'm still with you, son.
Homer: Oh, it just gets worse and worse!

Homer: Dad, are you sure you're okay to drive at night?
Grampa: It's night?
Homer: That's it, pull over!

Homer: Dad, I can't remember what I did last night. Do have any idea?
Grampa: You come to me for help rememberin'? That's like asking your horse to do your taxes--Which I did in 1998. (Shows photo of horse using an adding machine.)

(Grampa suggests that Homer should go see Professor Frink to help him remember what happened the night before.)
Homer: Really? Oh, that's great, Dad. How can I ever repay you?
Grampa: Punch that orderly who takes sips out of my juice.
Homer: Done.
(Cut to Homer punching an orderly who is about to make a bed.)
Grampa: No, wait. That's the guy that saved my life.

(After Homer opens a shipping crate)
Grampa: Moe?! You shipped yourself here?
Moe: No, it's how you fly coach on Delta now.

Lisa: You can't keep Juliet and me apart! I'll... I'll disobey!
Marge: I'm Bart Simpson's mother, do you think you've got any tricks I haven't seen. ((Leaves the room)
((Lisa climbs out the window and slides down the tree only to land in a laundry basket being held by Marge)
Marge: Bart Simpson: Age 3. (Both go back inside)
(Bart comes out of a hidden door in the tree dressed in black)
Bart Simpson: Age 10. Mhwahahahaha!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 112 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer
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