Grampa Simpson Quotes (Page 4)
Season 18, Episode 6: "Moe'N'a Lisa"
Grampa: I can finally win a gold medal. I came close at the 1936 Olympics. I threw a javelin that barely missed Hitler. But I did hit an assassin who was trying to kill Hitler.
Hitler (in 1936): What is this, Kill Hitler Day?
Grampa: The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it.
• Rating: Unrated
Grampa: (With his gold medal.) I've never been happier!
("The Star-Spangled Banner" plays)
Grampa: Turn that hippie crap off!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 22: "Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
Groundskeeper Willy: If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I'd have taken the orange eating class.
(cut to orange eating class)
Moleman: The eating of a good orange is a lot like a successful marriage.
Grampa: Just eat the damn orange!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 21: "Lady Bouvier's Lover"
Grampa: I'm in love... no wait, it's a stroke.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Grampa: I'm gonna smooch her like a mule eating an apple!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Grampa: Would it be all right with you if I just laid down in the street and died?
Lawyer: Yes, that would be acceptable.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Marge: I have a neat idea. Why don't you get my mother and we can go out to dinner?
Grampa: I'll be back in a jiffy! (gets an old lady in a wheelchair)
Marge: That's not my mother!
Grampa: I'll be back in a jiffy!
Old Lady: Can I come too?
(Homer rolls up his car window)
Old Lady: Oh.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Grampa: Oh, it's not a swindle. What you do is, see, you give them all your credit card numbers, and if one of them is lucky, they send you a prize.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Grampa: You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Grampa: La...tex...con...dome. Boy I'd like to live in one of those!
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 112
