The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Homer Simpson Quotes
Well, here I am, right on time. I don't see Barney "Let's crash the rocket into the White House and kill the President" Gumble...
You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!
Union rule 26. "Every employee must win 'Worker of the Week' at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity, or rank odor." Heh heh heh heh.
(on the phone) Hello, is this President Clinton? Good. I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it would be you.
Marge: Honey, I'm so glad you're ho--
Homer: Can't talk, seeing Flanders. Later, sex.
Homer: Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. (they go to Moe's) Hey, everyone.
Barney: Hey.
Homer: I'd like to introduce Ned Flanders, my best friend.
Moe: Hey, I don't want no one in here with their "evils of alcohol" rap.
Ned: Wait a second: you're the man at the hospital who reads to sick children.
Moe: (grabs Ned) If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt.
Homer: If anyone can pull it off, it's Stan "The Boy" Taylor.
Crowd: Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one will.
Homer: Well, I guess I should pay my share.
Ned: Relax, Homer. I keep telling you, you're my guest.
Homer: Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man
Marty: Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
Ned: Ned Flanders!
Homer: Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders
Ned: Well, golly, if that doesn't put the "shaz" in "shazam." Oh, listen: what's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?
Bart: Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks
Homer: Woo hoo! Sold. (Bart takes the money and runs off)
Marge: Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.
Homer: What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center". Why you little
I'd like to propose a toast to the coming together of the Simpsons and the Flanders. If this were a more perfect world, we'd all be known as the Flimpsons.
Ned: Oh, I guess it's time for me to duck again.
Homer: No! I want everyone to know that-- (yelling out window) --this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno. Something about being gay.
