The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Homer Simpson Quotes
Happy Anni..birth..tine's...shark week?
Bart's been raptured and his crap's been craptured.
Homer: What should I buy first, a mirror that gives me advice or Hitler's baseball?
Mirror: My advice is to buy Hitler's baseball.
Homer: (reading the paper) "Asleep at the switch"! I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!
Bart: I believe you, dad.
You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
Homer: Well, I'm opposed to the whole thing! Damn opposed!
Bart: He's damn opposed! Damn damn damn opposed!
Homer: The point of the dinosaurs is: no matter what we do, an asteroid is going to wipe us out. So we should party hard and wreck the place!
Homer: No burning leaves without a permit!
Man: But I have one!
Homer: Too late!
(Homer pays a private jet pilot.)
Homer: Okay, so this should be enough money to get me up in the air, have a frank talk with Marge, then maybe eat a deviled egg.
Pilot: Well, anything for a fellow Marine.
Homer: (Salutes) Yeah, Semper fudge.
Pilot: Uh, did you just say "Semper fudge"?
Homer: No, I said the right thing.
Dean: Hello..
Homer: Hello, Dean! You're a stupid head!
Dean: Homer is that you?
I don't eat anything new unless I've tried it before.
What is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as, "the process of removing weeds from one's garden."
