The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Homer Simpson Quotes
Homer: Oh, you beautiful man!
Flanders: That feeling is mutual of Omaha.
Homer: God, you're hilarious!
Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So they got Hercules, and Hercules used his mighty strength, and...bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big...thing...of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days!
Mmmm...chocolate!...D'oh! Mmmm...chocolate!...D'oh! Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!
I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!
Bart: (reading cue cards) Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.
Homer: Ooh, he card reads good.
Bart: Who's up at 3:17 AM watching TV?
Homer: Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners...
I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Moe: They're headed for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not!
Moe: Well then, let's go to the old mill anyway to get some cider!
Homer: Marge, I'm going to a hardcore gay club and won't be home until three in the morning!
Marge: Have fun!
D'oh! Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?
Bart: You're going down, Homer. I'm gonna fool you!
Homer: You talk better than you fool.
Bart: I'll fool you up real nice.
Homer: You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
Marge: You lost 5% of your brain.
Homer: Me lose brain? Uh-oh! (Everyone including Homer laughs)
Homer: Why I laugh?
