The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Homer Simpson Quotes
I have so many questions for you. First of all, is this floor reinforced?
Marge, you're my wife of ten years and I love you, but I must observe the teachings of this man I just met tonight. Now the first thing I have to do is make amends with the bathroom scale.
Homer: Marge I believe you're forgetting America's greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.
Marge: It's not that Professor X wouldn't get up, it's that he couldn't!
Look Moe the least you can let me do is anything I want.
The only reason you haven't been fired is because your file here has been holding up a sofa that was missing a leg.
Moe
They say you catch more flies with honey, I say with fly traps.
Mr. Burns
Homer: She's gone!
Moe: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.
Princess Kemi: So, all these concubines belong to this one tyrant?
Homer: It's called The Bachelor.
Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates from LinkedIn.
But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone why.
Marge: I'm not giving up on Bart, just like I didn't give up on our marriage when you quit your job to start the North American Sumo League.
Homer: The NASL would have made money if someone had washed a few sumo loin cloths for me.
Marge: I said I would do yours, but not the whole dojo.
Oh, you must be Flanders' new dog. I just want to apologize in advance for the things I'm gonna blame on you.
